Home is where your story starts

American boy

2012-02-06T17:56:00.002-05:00

Today Vlado had a dentist appointment. He did amazingly well! He laughed and thought the machine they used to take x-rays was hilarious. He sat up in the chair and opened his mouth wide like he had been to the dentist a hundred times before. Everyone was impressed. After he was done, I was standing by the hygienist waiting for her to complete our appointment card for his next cleaning. He walked out into the hallway. I looked up and asked him where he was going. He turned to me, put his hand up like a wave and said, "Peace out!" Then he started to walk down the hallway. (The building is tiny so he couldn't go far) I just stood there for a second looking confused and the hygienist said, giggling a little, "Did he just say 'peace out'?" When he heard us chuckling, he came back and joined in with the laughter. I am assuming he learned that phrase at school, but it was just so funny that he 1. said it to begin with and 2. used the phrase appropriately.

Needless to say, his English is progressing. He is just the funniest kid!

Tomorrow school?

2012-01-02T23:41:00.001-05:00

Vlado has been asking this every day since Christmas break began. I am beginning to think that I bore him because he would much rather be at school with the other kids. Now, if I could only figure out how to keep his hands off the other kids because he spends way too much time in time out because he can't keep his hands to himself. UGH!

So I don't lose it

2012-01-01T23:48:00.002-05:00

I tried this recipe about 5 months ago and then lost it. When I found it today, I decided to blog it so I would have it the next time I want it.

Chicken enchiladas with green chili cream cheese sauce

*These are seriously so so good*

10 soft taco shells

2 cups cooked, shredded chicken (this works with leftover pork roast too)

2 cups shredded Mexican cheese blend

3 Tbsp. butter

3 Tbsp. flour

2 cups chicken broth

8 ounces cream cheese

1 (4 oz) can diced green chillies

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 9x13 pan

2. Mix chicken and 1 cup cheese. Roll up in tortillas and place in pan.

3. In a sauce pan, melt butter, stir in flour and cook 1 minute. Add broth and whisk until smooth. Heat over medium heat until thick and bubbly.

4. Stir in cream cheese and chilies. Do not bring to boil. You just want to melt the cream cheese.

5. Pour over enchiladas and top with remaining cheese.

6. Bake 22 min and then under high broil for 3 min to brown the cheese.

Happy 2012

2012-01-01T21:36:00.002-05:00

I am happy that it is 2012 although I'm not saying that I'm glad that 2011 is gone. 2011 is the first year that I was a Mama all year long! :)

It was also the year that we began the process to bring home a sibling for our Vlado. We still aren't sure where that process is leading and, to be honest, I'm not sure I will be sharing that information until it is 100%. I feel ashamed that the other adoption did not happen and I'm not sure that I am prepared to open myself up to people (many of which who do not really know me) until I know that the path we are on is GOD'S PLAN and not mine. Because if I try to go on my own path....I know that being hurt is a big possibility. :(

Resolutions and me are not usually good. I have HUGE fits of enthusiasm at first and then, a little later, just give up. I am going to try to be better about blogging and sharing Vlado's accomplishments with all of you. He is a little guy who has surpassed many people's expectations and still continues to do so.

As a little end to this somewhat disjointed post, I will leave you with this.

We are in the throws of the terrible 2's at our house!

Another month gone

2011-12-06T22:47:00.002-05:00

Once again, a month has passed. It's amazing to me that this year has become just that....one month gone, then another. Being a mom intensifies that "time flying" thing.

I can't believe that I missed the obligatory one year gotcha day post and all that stuff. Let's see, we have so many different "one year since" days around here. :)

Nov 15th - the day that we met him
Nov 19th - this was the day that we took custody of our boy...even though the adoption wasn't final yet.
Nov 25th - it was Thanksgiving last year when we had our adoption ceremony so we celebrated "Adoption Day" on Thanksgiving this year even though it was the 24th....and we will probably celebrate adoption day every Thanksgiving (We celebrated a little on the 25th too)
Dec 2nd - the day that we landed on US soil making Vlado an American citizen.

We did have a good time on Thanksgiving. To make our day different, I cooked a duck instead of a turkey and it was pretty yummy! I also made lepinja (a Serbian bread) and Honey said that it took him back to Serbia. :) I'm not sure that Vlado truly understood the importance of the day, but he will in time.

He has been super clingy for a little while. He is in my lap almost all the time, and he doesn't just sit there. He lays back and rests his head on my shoulder and just cuddles in. He lets me wrap my arms around him without fighting it and giggles when I kiss his head. The other night we were all at the mall and he lost sight of me (I was trying to shop for some clothes...my least favorite thing to do...and I just wanted to find something and leave) He was with Honey, but I could hear him wandering around calling, "Mama? Mama?" It was very cool that he was searching for me. Funny thing is that he would probably have done something similar if he lost sight of Honey. The way he says, "Daddy?" is just too adorable.

School is going well for him. He had issues at the beginning of the year with touching and/or kissing the other kids but thankfully that is starting to resolve itself (we hope) He is still working on reading comprehension, but he can pick up almost any kids book and read the whole thing. He is pretty good at sounding out words, but he has the most amazing memory so most of his reading is memorized words. He knows his 1's and 2's for addition and subtraction. His ELL teacher is working him overtime trying to get him up to speed.

And he is just as cute as can be. This is my favorite pic of him! But this was taken in September. He has lost his two front teeth. One of my facebook friends said he can sing "All I want for Christmas is my Two Front Teeth" this year. LOL! This is his truly happy smile.

Not the post I wanted to make

2011-11-06T12:03:00.002-05:00

This definitely wasn't what I thought I would be posting for my 200th post. Hubby and I have decided to release "Kamdyn." There are sure to be many questions. Have you ever been doing something for all the right reasons only to realize that what you were doing just wasn't right? This beautiful child was an example of this. That is all I am prepared to share at this time. Please pray for our family to heal this loss. And PLEASE PRAY that Kamdyn finds her true family quickly. She does not deserve to wait. If you feel the need to comment, please be kind. We do not need negativity at this moment. And know, I WILL delete any unkind words. You cannot judge someone without having been in their place.

Making progress

2011-10-16T22:13:00.000-04:00

After months and months of paper chasing and waiting, it looks like our completed homestudy is within reach. We have been waiting for a long time for the background checks from the state we live in. We found out just a few days before the hurricane (Irene) that our first request for the background check was never received. So, we sent in the 2nd request.....and then the hurricane hit. The office that does the checks was in one of the hardest hit towns in our state. The office was shut down (and actually hasn't even opened back up yet). So, we waited and waited. We were told that no other office could handle the request. So, more waiting. I am not sure how, but we got our background checks back last week!! Woohoo!!! Our SW emailed me yesterday and told me that she is going to finish the homestudy this week and get us copy to make sure it is ok. When we adopted Vlado, the whole adoption never really felt real, at least during the paperwork process. When we got to the point of getting USCIS approval, it started feeling a little more real. This time, it has been the same. The thought that we should have our completed homestudy in our hands so soon just feels weird. It feels like our angel girl is just a dream, but we are moving closer to when we will actually get to hold her. Then we will do the rest of the paperwork needed to BRING HER HOME! I am sad to think that the earliest we will probably travel is February. We were in Serbia on Honey's birthday last year. Do I dare hope that we will be in Baby Sister's country on my birthday.....my birthday is in early February. :)

Almost 2 months?

2011-10-15T21:56:00.003-04:00

Has it really been that long since I posted anything? I am so very sorry! To be totally honest, I have just been too tired to do much on the internet lately. I am only supposed to be part time at work but lately, the hours have been available so I have worked all that is possible for me to work. I can work full days on Honey's days off, and on week days when he works, I can work 9-2 while Vlado is in school. So, I have had way more full time weeks lately and it has left me exhausted. I'm not sure how moms who work full time do it! Working that much and then taking care of my little man wipes me out!

Now for a Vlado update. He is doing really well! He is learning so much and seems to be soaking so much in so fast. School is, um, interesting this year. He only has an aid for actual learning stuff, ie math, reading ,writing. He does have an ELL teacher regularly which is so much better than last year. But a problem we are having is that when he doesn't have an aid with him, he has a problem understanding what is appropriate and what is not. There are a few children who find it funny to teach him things that he shouldn't know. When he does/says things he shouldn't and the teacher tells him no (but the kids laugh), who do think he listens to? He has lost so much play time and even had to sit out during a science time (outside) because he kept sticking his tongue out and trying to touch the other kids with his tongue. UGH! We think a big problem is that when he doesn't understand exactly what is going on (like during science) he gets bored and then finds things to entertain himself. He doesn't try any of the stuff they tell me about when he is with us...that's why I think the other kids are a big part of the problem. They think it is funny to get him to.....run after another child trying to kiss them, call other kids names (psycho seems to be a favorite of one of the kids), and the tongue thing was probably suggested to him too. I am very frustrated because as soon as we get to understand that one thing isn't acceptable, we are told about yet another behavior. He has a list of about 10 things that we go through every morning of things not to do. "We don't kiss at school. We don't stick our tongue out. We don't hit. We don't kick." And on and on. I am almost ready to pull him out of school and homeschool him until he is 100% communicative in English and can understand that he needs to listen to teachers and not the other kids. I just am not sure if the social interaction is worth him constantly getting into trouble. I am trying to prepare myself for the day when another parent complains because my child did something to their child. It is bound to happen if other kids keep teaching him bad stuff. :( I do realize that several of these things are normal kid behavior, but the teacher has actually told me that she has seen/heard other kids telling him to do the behaviors. So, I don't think he is doing them to be naughty....he just doesn't understand that the kids aren't his boss (so to speak).

He really is growing

2011-08-21T11:32:00.004-04:00

I have thought lately that Vlado looked taller. I thought maybe I was wrong because his shorts are still big on him (at least in the waist). So, last night I decided to measure him to see. He was 44.5 inches. When we got him, he was 38 inches. In less than 9 months, he has grown 6.5 inches!!! And his face is starting to look more mature. I was looking at the book Honey had made for me for Vlado's adoption, and he looked like such a baby in those pictures.

This picture was taken on Dec 5th...just 3 days after we got home with our boy. Doesn't he look so little? And that look on his face was normal at that point. He was so unsure of this new place. :(

This was taken Aug 18th as we were driving home from my parents' house. That's just a little over 8 months between pictures yet it seems like he has matured a lot more than that. He's not a baby anymore. He was a baby at 6, but he's a big boy at 7. :)

Happy 1st birthday!

2011-08-14T13:56:00.004-04:00

Well, today is actually Vlado's 7th birthday. But it is his first birthday with his forever family. We kept it pretty low key. But we did go to Ponderosa for lunch. He LOVES that place because he is sure to get an ice cream cone before we leave. :)

Vlado is still learning to enjoy most toys, but he loves leggos. So, Honey got him the coolest leggos table. It has leggo top that gives him lots of space to build. It also has a cover to go over it so that it becomes a regular table if need be. We also picked up some books for him because if you know Vlado, you know that books are his most important possession. :)

We are leaving to go visit my parents tomorrow. Vlado is so excited to see Mimi and Papaw again. For about a week, Vlado has said, "Mimi, Papaw Monday" I *think* he knows what that means, but we will see. His speech is starting to take off. Summer school was the best for him. Having such a small class and so much one on one time with the teacher helped him grow so much!

This picture is from his last day of summer school. They were so sweet and had a birthday party for him. He blew out the candle by saying "WOW!" while staring at his cupcakes. He had a good time! And it was fun for me to see him having fun. He wore his birthday hat the rest of the day....and a girl at McDonalds gave him a chocolate milkshake for free.

Vlado-isms

2011-08-06T20:46:00.000-04:00

I am becoming one of those moms. You know the ones....who talk about their child and everything cute they said/did recently. So, here ya go! :)

Vlado came home last December almost completely non-verbal. (I know you probably remember that, but I felt I needed to have a little reminder so these stories could be appreciated for all his progress!) He knew like 3 phrases, but other than that...nada. They even told us that he probably couldn't learn to speak because he had been going to a speech therapist and she couldn't get anything out of him. Well, he IS learning! He is very good at identifying almost everything and is working on conversational speech. I have a few Vlado-isms of late and I had to share them.

1. Vlado said his first unprompted sentence and his first tattletale at the same time the other day. He came up to me (a little huffy) and said, "The cat is up!" The cat was in the window and Vlado thought he shouldn't be there. LOL! The dog can go anywhere she pleases, but that poor cat! :)

2. Bill asked Vlado the other day what we were having for dinner. (Questions still stump him most of the time) He responded, "Food" When Bill asked him what kind of food, he said, "Good food!" We were impressed that he understood the question and was able to respond with an appropriate answer.

3. I read to Vlado every night at bedtime. A few weeks ago, I started reading chapter books (just to see if he would sit still for a book with few pictures) We started with "The Mouse and the Motorcycle" and just a few days ago we started, "Ramona Forever" This morning, Vlado walked up to me and said, "No Picky" I had no idea what he was talking about. My confused face was enough, he said, "No Picky cat...book." Last night in the book, the cat Picky Picky died. I am still shocked that he understands what we are reading.

4. Today, Vlado walked down to the garden with me (in his bare feet too which is a whole other bit of progress!) He picked a yellow squash and 2 cherry tomatoes, said, "Vlado dinner" and proceeded to walk to the house. He is loving our garden. We are so lucky that he LOVES veggies!

I just had to share! :)

Bonding - updated :)

2011-08-05T11:59:00.000-04:00

I wondered if I should share this story, but I feel that it is important.

Honey is such a wonderful hubby! Last weekend, he arranged for me to have a night off! He stayed at home with Vlado and I was able to hang out with a friend and just have a little down time. I wasn't home when it was time for Vlado to go to bed. As Honey was tucking him in, Vlado looked upset and said, "Mama home?" Honey told him I would be home later and that seemed to be enough. A little later, Honey went up to check on him and he was laying in bed crying. Honey asked him what was wrong and he said again, "Mama home?" He told him I would be home a little later and then Honey laid down with him until they both fell asleep. He was sleeping when I got home so he didn't see me until the morning....I was still in bed when Honey got him up. He came in my room to say good morning and when he saw me, his face lit up! He jumped up into our bed and hugged me like he hadn't seen me in years and said (with a huge smile) "Mama home!" :)

Vlado lived in the same foster home for almost 2 years. When we first took him to stay at the hotel with us, I was afraid how he would react to being with us versus being with his foster family at night. (I know that night time is the worst for many internationally adopted kids) He was fine...he acted like he had always been with us. If you remember, we took custody of him almost a week before our adoption ceremony. We learned that his foster mom was going to be at the ceremony and we were a little nervous that the little bonding that had happened with him would be tarnished with seeing her again. When we got there, he walked right by her like he didn't see or or didn't know her. That was a little nerve wracking thinking he might have some serious attachment problems if he could forget her that quickly.

But, he has been with us a little over 8 months and was seriously distressed that I wasn't home to tuck him in at bedtime. I HATE that he was sad/scared/hurt and I probably won't be doing a mommy's night out again any time soon. But I am so thankful that I now KNOW that Vlado does indeed feel attached to us and he needs us to be around! :)

Elated and a little sad

2011-07-31T21:36:00.002-04:00

I haven't looked at the families in process pages of RR for a couple days. I normally look at the "traveling now" page to read about families who are in the process of meeting and bringing home their little ones, but not usually the other pages. Today, I decided to look at the "homestudy in process" page which is where our family is listed. I was so very excited to see that someone (or a few someones) donated to our fund! There is $156 in there! When we adopted Vlado, our fund never got beyond $0. We didn't complain about that.....they money was there when we needed it, but it didn't come in the form of donations from others. So, I was very excited to see that people care enough about us and our daughter to donate money to help bring her home. If whoever donated is reading this, we are so very thankful and humbled by your generosity!

Now on to the sad part. There was another little girl (a beautiful 4 year old) who is in the same city as our little one. I never did ask if they were in the same orphanage or not, but I guess it doesn't matter. We were seriously considering adding this cutie pie to our family as well. Reading her profile was like reading Vlado's all over again. When I looked at the "my family found me" page today, she was there. I am so happy that she has a family working to bring her home, but I am a little sad that it isn't our family. We went back and forth for a while trying to decide if we could handle adopting 2 at once. I guess at this point, the decision has been made for us. That is, unless God shows us another one before we submit our dossier (which is a little while away) I guess we shall see.

I love a bargain!

2011-07-22T18:01:00.002-04:00

Although I haven't gotten involved in the extreme couponing craze, I still do love getting stuff at a really good price. (I would love to do the couponing thing, but I never seem to find coupons for stuff we actually use....even if I got it for free, I don't see the point) Today was a good day!

Vlado and I had just taken Honey lunch and then we went to get Vlado's passport. :) That's a whole other post in itself. Anyway, just as I was getting close to the interstate to go home, I had the idea to go to a local liquidation center (I think that is what it's called) to see what they had. Once, they had mousse and hairspray for 10/$1. I got all the mousse they had (that wasn't broken) and some hairspray and spent $3 it lasted me almost 4 years!! The last time I went, they had bags of taco sized tortillas 10/$1. They were expiring at the end of that month.....I just put them in the freezer! So, back to today. The first thing I saw was gallon size bags full of "goodies." From what I could see, there were granola bars, fruit snack packs, cookies, etc. There was a sign "Buy one get one free" so I couldn't help myself. I rooted around and found 2 bags that were $2.99 each and put them in my basket. It looked like stuff from boxes that had probably been torn open or something so they just combined them with other snack stuff. Then I went into the "pharmacy" area and they had goodnights (which Vlado just happened to need). I saw a 33-pack in his size for $8.50. But behind it, there was another 33-pack (his size) marked down to $7.15. There was nothing wrong with it....looking back on it, I should have grabbed both packs and asked why one was cheaper to see if they would have given me both for the same price, but I didn't. :( Down another isle, they had chocolate chips and peanut butter chips for $1. And yet another isle, hamburger helper was buy one get one free. So, all in all, I spent $16.27 and this is what I got. To put it in perspective, the goodnights alone would have cost $23.99 or so at the store! So, this is all that I got...and everything was a brand name (and in date, trust me, I looked!)

2 boxes hamburger helper
2 bags hersheys chocolate chips
2 bags reeces peanut butter chips
1 33 ct goodnights
(the rest is from the snack bags)
1 small box raisins
3 packages of m&m's cookies
4 small packs of biscotti (not sure if I spelled that right)
2 packs of melba toast (no idea why that was there)
15 packs fruit snacks
6 fruit roll ups
29 granola bars
5 nut & granola packs (they are called breakfast on the go)

First fundraiser

2011-07-16T21:21:00.003-04:00

I hate asking for help. I know I have said that before. The thing is...adoption isn't cheap!

We are adopting from a different country than we did last time and this new adoption is going to end up costing about $10,000 more than the last one. All in all, we are looking at around $25,000 to bring this little girl home.

I am a strong believer in the blessing of adoption. I do not dare say that everyone should adopt. But you don't have to adopt to help orphaned children. We are adopting our child through an adoption ministry called Reece's Rainbow. They are a not for profit ministry that matches orphaned children with special needs with families. Making a donation to our adoption would be tax deductible. If you go here and click donate, you would be instrumental in helping us bring our girl home. $25,000 is a lot of money. If you break it down, it seems more doable. :)

250 $100 bills or
500 $50 bills or
1250 $20 bills or
2500 $10 bills or
5000 $5 bills or
25,000 $1 bills or
100,000 quarters
250,000 dimes
500,000 nickles
2,500,000 pennies

Any donation would be humbly accepted! Now, if someone had 500,000 cans/bottles they would like to donate...that would fund us. That brings me to our first fundraiser. Oh, how I would love to think that this fundraiser would do it and it would bring in enough to fully fund us, but I am doubtful....but it is a start! If you are interested, go and check it out!

Whys...part 1

2011-07-15T21:42:00.000-04:00

When we tell people we have adopted and are adopting again, we have received a few questions. Here are some of the most common and my attempt at answers (sometimes I have problems getting my thoughts out in a way that makes sense to others)

1. Can you not have your own children? / Why did you adopt?
I do not get offended by this question because I share too much information anyway. (If you know me in real life, you are probably laughing at that understatement) Having bio kids for us is questionable. If it were to happen, we would be happy. But as of yet, it hasn't and we haven't been trying to prevent it. I do have a couple anatomical abnormalities that might prevent me from getting/staying pregnant, but I have never had a doctor say, "You will never have biological kids." We adopted because we wanted to be parents...plain and simple.

2. Why did you adopt from Serbia?
We adopted from Serbia because that is where Vlado was. God spoke to my heart the first time that I saw his picture. I didn't know it at the time, but God was whispering that Vlado was my son. All the details worked out in a way that could have only been God. So many huge obstacles were overcome and I give all glory to my Heavenly Father! *To be honest, I always thought my kids would come from Ukraine!

3. Why aren't you adopting from the US?
I'm not going to debate the fact that there are hundreds of thousands of children in the US foster care system. I dealt with the "system" for a while many years ago when I was in a previous marriage. I know that kids in foster care don't have it great. I know that they (even after they are removed from their bio parents) often do not have anyone to rely on. I applaud those people who have been able to adopt children from foster care, but it is not as easy as most people think. I will leave it at that. Once again....I am not going to debate this. So, if you want to comment to that effect, please don't because I will be forced to delete it!

4. You haven't been home long. Why are you adopting again so soon?
When we were in Serbia, we were blessed to be able to visit the baby house where Vlado lived for the first 4 years of his life. We were thankful! But our hearts were broken. There were so many children there and it was so very strange to think about the fact that these children LIVED THERE! I have worked at so many daycare centers in my life and, at first glance, an orphanage is just like that. But then you come back to reality and see that these children have no one. Yes, some of the caretakers care about the children. But they don't have time to give them a nice long warm bath and snuggle them before bed. They don't have time to read them a bedtime story and kiss their forehead. Vlado's baby house was a good one, but it still wasn't a family. We knew when we saw all those children that we would adopt again.....and we wouldn't take our time. Many of the special needs kids don't have the option for us to take our time! Which brings me to the next question.

5. Why special needs kids?
It is no secret that I have a LOVE for Reece's Rainbow kids. When I found Reece's Rainbow back in 2007, I didn't know that years later, my children would be listed there. I didn't start out thinking, "What a great thing to adopt special needs kids?" when I first contemplated adoption. No, I wanted a child or two as young as possible with only "mild or correctable conditions." But then I began to realize (after looking at the many waiting kids) that these were just children. They didn't ask to have special needs. They didn't ask to be abandoned. They didn't ask to be looked at as a lesser person. They were just children....who happened to have some special need. Our children chose us....their special needs are secondary. I mean, how could you say no to either one of our kids. :) They are gorgeous!

I just realized that this post has become quite lengthy. I will have to continue on a different day. Trust me, there are many more questions. :)

Bonding

2011-06-29T18:27:00.003-04:00

This post has been bouncing around in my head for a couple weeks and I debated if I should share it. But, I felt like I really needed to. I can't believe that I'm the only one who needs to *hear* it.

Adopting an older child is different. Many times, it's difficult. Many times, it's wonderful. Our older kids have developed so many coping skills. Some of these kids learn how to build up walls so that nobody can get close. Getting them to tear down their barriers and let people in is a painstaking process. You can see right at first that there is a bonding issue. Then you have other kids (like mine) who have learned how to charm. They have developed a knack for wrapping everyone around their finger. These kids easily give out hugs and kisses and say cutesie things that make everyone laugh. But their bonding and attachment is just as big an issue as the kids who won't let anyone in.

When Vlado first came home, we tried to make him understand that it wasn't good to kiss everyone. (He didn't hug many people at first) High fives were common. The people at school were good with the physical affection thing too. (Insert more high fives). I thought we were doing really well with bonding. I mean, he knows we are his Mama and Daddy. I really believe school helped with that. He learned that the other kids had grown ups that came to get them at the end of the day and we were his. He looks to us for help when he needs it and will readily climb up into our laps to snuggle.

He doesn't hug me often (unless I initiate it), but he does hug all of our co-workers and some other people we know. I didn't really think much about it. But, the other day at the grocery store, I had a little eye opener. Vlado went up to a total stranger (she was kneeling down to get something) and hugged her and kissed her cheek. She thought it was adorable, but my heart sank. People around us just don't understand that this is a bad thing. And his communication isn't at the point that I can explain to him why it isn't good to trust just anyone. We are back to the point that hugs and kisses are reserved for me and Honey. I am afraid of offending people who have grown to love Vlado, but truly, my son's attachment to us is paramount right now. We should be beyond this at almost 7 months home, but it is my fault that I wasn't as diligent as I should have been. Back to the drawing board. :(

I wonder....

2011-06-28T22:00:00.002-04:00

*This post is entirely too honest! I might get myself in trouble here. :(

When Honey and I decided to adopt again, I brought up the prospect of adopting 2. I thought it would be nice to complete our family with one more adoption process. We have decided that 3 kids will be it. (I know a lot of people have their minds changed about their families being complete, but that's for a different time.) So, anyway, tonight I was looking at the kids available in Baby Sister's orphanage/city and there was a new addition. This new little girl's profile almost exactly mirrors Vlado's profile when he was listed with RR. It was strange reading the same information on a different child. Now, here's the interesting part. Honey really feels connected to this new little girl. She turned 4 in February. Honey feels more connected to her than Baby Sister. He connects to personality in pictures and it's just so difficult to get a little baby to show personality. I'm sure Baby Sister was not so sure about someone with a camera in her face. It was probably a first for her and I'm sure she was a little fearful. Hence, she wasn't all smiley. I feel connected to both, but I'm scared that Honey is going to change his mind about our Baby girl. Oh, my....Lord, please calm my mind. I just pray that Honey says, "Let's just get both of them."

I'm not good at this

2011-06-24T11:58:00.003-04:00

I have never been good at asking for help. I have always been an, "I can do it myself" type of girl. (I probably drove my mom nuts when I was a kid!) But with this adoption, I do need a little help! Adoption isn't cheap...and unlike birthing a child, there isn't insurance to pick up any of the cost.

A few years ago, (on another blog), I wrote the following.

What would you do? I ask again, what would you do?? What would you do if you knew your child had been taken and put in a place where he/she didn't have much food, had to share clothes with many other children, didn't have toys, didn't have anyone to cuddle him/her, etc.? You found out that to get your child back, you had to somehow come up with $25,000. And all this is legal. What would you do?

I'm sure most (if not all) of the parents out there would respond that they would do anything to get them back. Would you pick up cans and bottles on the side of the road to get the pennies they are worth? Would you make crafts and try to sell them at craft fairs? Would you ask your family and friends to donate money? Would you apply for any grant you could find for that little extra money? Would you have a lawn sale and sell anything you could think of? For me and Honey the resounding answer is YES!!!

The only difference is that we haven't met our child yet. The fact that she does not have our genes does not make her any less our daughter. We know she is there and we are here. There are 2 trips required to her country which adds more airfare. Also, her country is a Hague country (we are not complaining about this...it is a good thing), but there are many more requirements that again cost more money. This adoption is going to cost about 10k more than our adoption of Vlado. I am going to be crafting like a mad woman over the next few months and pray that my stuff sells this fall. If you have any ideas of good fundraisers we can do....we are all ears!

We're doing it again!

2011-06-23T19:39:00.000-04:00

Just a couple weeks after we got home with Vlado, Honey told me that he thought we needed to adopt another child. At that point, I thought he was nuts! The first month or so after we got back was full of testing and downright defiance. We are so thankful it only lasted a month! :)

Well, the last couple months, I have had terrible baby fever. We had thought about doing some additional fertility things, but we knew it wouldn't work. There are a couple medical issues (with me) but the doctor told me that there "might be a chance" I could have a baby. Something in my heart knows though that I will never have a bio baby and (most days) I am ok with that. I have been scanning the pictures on Reece's Rainbow like a crazy person lately. I requested info on a little girl about a month ago. I even printed out her medical and took it to Vlado's pediatrician to see what he thinks. She is also in Eastern Europe but (like before), I can't disclose exactly where.
What I can tell you is that she is not from the same country as our Little Man. It is probably going to take about a year (over estimating, I hope) to get her home. We are so excited to introduce you to Baby Sister. (I know you all are gonna hate me, but I'm not going to share her name just yet.) Isn't she beautiful?!

Happy Father's Day

2011-06-19T20:10:00.000-04:00

I have to say Happy Father's Day to my Daddy...you were such an amazing example to me growing up of a loving father! And to my wonderful hubby......you have shown Vlado what having a Daddy is all about. You rough house with him, cuddle him on your lap, and show him daily how a husband should treat his wife! I know you questioned your ability as a father before we brought home our son, but I hope you have started to realize that you are so wonderful and being a Daddy has come so naturally for you. I know you will continue to grow and become even more wonderful as we add other little ones.

More vacation fun!

2011-06-18T18:56:00.000-04:00

Day 2 at the Big Water was not quite as scary for our Little Man! When he first got up, he asked to go back down to the beach. Actually, the exact wording was, "Big water??" This time, he didn't seem scared at all. He ran in the shallow water, kicked water in the air (giggling the whole time) and just had a good time. Later in the day, we went to a town not far from where we stayed. We first went to a small arcade. Vlado tried to play some of the games but they weren't really geared toward kids his age. We found a helicopter "ride" that went up and down and since he loves all things aeronautical, we decided to put him on it. He wasn't a fan. It was a little too scary going up into the air. Lunch was pretty good....we went to the coast and had Mexican food. LOL! We knew there was lobster on the horizon. In another part of the town, they had a pretty good sized zoo and entertainment area with rides and games. We were a little nervous putting him on rides with his reaction to the helicopter. Boy did he fool us! He had a blast on the rides. He did pretty good at the zoo too! He was much more interested in the animals that he was when we went to the zoo in Serbia. He got to feed goats and deer and ducks. He did it like he had done it a gazillion times. We are loving watching him with new experiences.

You can see the difference in his body language. No more fear!

I LOVE this picture! He looks like he is deep in thought.....actually this is one of the few times he stood still for me to get a good picture. :)

Pure joy!

Big water!

2011-06-17T17:34:00.000-04:00

Honey, Vlado and I went to the ocean for vacation! We only had a few days but thankfully we don't live that far. A short 4 hour drive and we could smell the salty air. :) Our hotel was just a short walk from the beach so we decided to saunter down so Vlado could get his first view. As we walked down, he was his normal chatty self. We got down to the beach and took our shoes off. Vlado looked out at the ocean and said, "BIG water!" He was terrified of it at first. He would only go into the water if I had hold of one hand and Honey had the other. He still squealed every time a wave would splash against his legs. Eventually, he started walking along the edge of the water. He is at the point that he is starting to explore independence. We know that it is a good thing....he is about at the point a 3 or 4 year old would be. The only problem is that he will walk ahead without looking back very often. If we didn't tell him to slow down or come back, he would have walked a mile ahead. But he seems to know that we won't let him get too far and that's a good thing. He never did get the hang of picking up shells...I guess that will take time.

Yes, he is skipping. LOL! And yes, I put him in pink water shoes. I had them at the house and I knew he wouldn't notice one way or another.

Can you see the nerves on his face? He was trying to be brave, but his face gives it away.

He also decided that chasing sea gulls is a lot of fun. A stranger came up to us and said, "That's the best thing for him...just being around nature and being a boy." Little did she know how right she was. :)

Sometimes I forget

2011-06-12T21:05:00.003-04:00

Sometimes it is really easy to forget how emotionally fragile our kids are...especially the ones who have had it really tough. Last night was one of those nights that I am reminded big time! Our power went out last night around 11pm because of a storm. At about 11:30, I decided to just go to bed. I checked in on Vlado like I do every night and found him on his knees on the bed rocking back and forth. I called his name and he didn't respond...he just kept rocking. I went over and put my hand on his back. I had to literally pull him into my lap to get the rocking to stop. I held him like a baby for a few minutes and told him it was ok. He laid down and I laid beside him and I could see his eyes were as wide as saucers. He looked absolutely terrified. I decided to bring him into our room to see if he would calm down. He was very confused and just kept looking around. I asked him if he wanted to go back to his bed and he got up and raced back to his room. Ten minutes later, he was crying. I went back in and he was up sitting on his pillow staring at the corner muttering. The only thing I understood was, "clean up." He would shake his head and whimper. I HAD to get him out of his room because it was something in there that was freaking him out. When I took him back to our bed, he was better. He somewhat rested for about an hour but he was still sweating (he sweats so much when he is nervous or anxious). I felt pretty powerless. By this time (around 1am), the power had come back on. I took him back to his bed and turned on his fish night light. It is so bright that it lights the whole room....but it was enough for him to relax and we didn't hear anything else from him. I wish I knew why he was scared but he doesn't have enough communication skills to tell me. And I wish I would have been enough to soothe him when he was scared. He has been through so much.....maybe it's good I don't know everything, but I wish I knew how to help. :(

Garden time

2011-06-05T20:31:00.003-04:00

We put our vegetable garden in today. It was quite a feat. We have quite a large garden and we really want to use all available space to get the largest crop of veggies. We ended up planting a bunch of tomatoes again this year. I am almost out of spaghetti sauce, tomato soup and soup base (this is a rather thin tomato sauce that I use for the base for chili and veggie soup). I still have a bit of salsa as we didn't really care for the recipe from last year. This year should be better because Honey got me a pressure canner for Christmas last year...so I don't have to worry about adding so much lemon juice to get the right acidity for canning. We have 6 broccoli plants but I might go get some more because we have room for 2 more rows. We are gonna try corn again even though we didn't get a single ear last year (stupid crows!). Beans, peppers, a watermelon plant and various squash round out the space.

I remember last year when we were weeding and pulling rocks, I said to Honey, "I can't wait until Vladan is here so he can be the one pulling rocks." Today, in our garden, our son WAS the one pulling rocks. :) It was amazing to think that just one year ago, he wasn't here, but now he is. And he had so much more fun throwing rocks than I did last year. LOL!

The journey

2011-05-28T15:36:00.003-04:00

The journey to enough craft fair stuff begins with one stitch, right? The other day, I found myself having an internal dialog with myself (LOL, that is redundant, huh?) It went something like this.

I wish I could have $20,000 worth of stuff for my craft fairs. It would make some things so much easier.
Well...how much do you have?
Um, nothing really.
OK, how much have you made today?
Um, nothing.
Then how can you complain that you won't have enough? You might not have $20,000 worth, but if you don't do anything....YOU WON'T HAVE ANYTHING!
But I don't have time.
Don't give me that! Just stop playing POGO!

I'm glad that most people can't hear my thoughts. They would seriously think I am nuts! So, even though I feel pretty crappy today, I am going to do some crafting. Vlado is doing some fusible beads things now. Do you think that I can sell those as ornaments at my fair? Maybe I should bring him with me to the fairs....his cuteness might sell more. :)

I guess it's not a virus

2011-05-27T20:30:00.000-04:00

About a week and a half ago, I started getting sick. I have asthma so I get respiratory infections more often than most. Honey told me I needed to go to the doctor....I said I was fine. So, I waited and waited...hoping and praying that I would just get better. I finally broke yesterday and went to the doctor. Diagnosis? Pneumonia. I know...I should have just listened to my husband. (He's not letting me forget that!) I would be happy at this point if I would just stop coughing. Sleeping is nearly impossible when you are hacking your lungs out. Vlado has a cough too, but he has not had a fever or acted sick at all. I think his is mostly allergies....Zyrtec seems to help him sleep. Let's hope that my antibiotic kicks pneumonia's butt and I can work next week. Gotta save all the money I can right now! :)

6 months

2011-05-25T22:39:00.000-04:00

Today marks 6 months that I have officially been a mom. Six months ago, in Pozeravac, Serbia, the minister of adoption decreed that Vlado's name was Vladan Breen and Honey and I were his parents. He has changed so much in such a short time.

When we met him...

He was still in diapers
He only spoke 3 small phrases in Serbian (I don't want, Let's go, and It doesn't work)
He was so easily overwhelmed
He wanted nothing to do with toys
He would scream when upset and quite often would hit himself
He wandered around (as if in his own world) most of the time
He would seek out the dog at the foster home to kick or hit it
He had no color...he was so pale!
He had no idea what a Mama and Papa was
We were told he couldn't learn

And 6 months later....

He is almost 100% potty trained although we are still working on overnight dryness.
He knows so many words! He can ask for things and is obsessed with knowing what everything is called.
He adapts to new situations so easily now. He takes things in instead of getting overwhelmed.
He is still learning how to play. But leggos are his favorite now! He can play with them for hours.
He doesn't scream even when he is mad. And he NEVER hits himself. (He tries at school sometimes because they give him the attention he is seeking for it...at home, he doesn't even try)
He doesn't have time to wander aimlessly now. He's too busy exploring.
He LOVES his dog! They are the ultimate "boy and his dog"
He has pink cheeks and so much more energy. And he has grown about 2 inches.
His eyes light up when we pick him up from school. He now knows that I am his Mama and Honey is his Papa!
He has been going to school since January. He loves numbers and the teacher said he has a "math mind." He read a small book in front of his class the other day. He knows all his colors and shapes. He has around 50 sight words that he knows and can write them.

I'm sure I'm missing a ton of other differences. It's just hard to think of them now because how he is, is just how he is. He grows everyday and has learned so much! We were told that he was borderline moderately mentally delayed. When he was tested last week....it was estimated that he is of normal intelligence and is just delayed because of his lack of stimulation. He might have to repeat 1st grade next year, but they are thinking he will be completely caught up in no time. :)

This was the first day we met him. This might look like a smile, but all I see is nerves. He was trying to be happy.

This is him just a couple weeks ago on our way to visit his Grandparents. This is total joy smile. We were getting ready to board the ferry and he was soooooooooooo excited about being on a boat! :)

I think he watches me

2011-05-14T17:02:00.003-04:00

Today we were getting ready to go take lunch to Honey at work. I told Vlado to get his shoes on and I went upstairs to get dressed. He said, "lunch!" I told him that we were going to get lunch when we went to see Papa. When I came downstairs, the fridge door was open as was the pantry door. He had pulled his lunchbox out of his backpack and was packing it. He had pulled a juice box and clementine out of the fridge. He had also taken a muffin out of the muffin container and was climbing up in the pantry to get a plastic bag to put it in. I just watched him. He got the bread down and took out 2 slices....went to the fridge and got the mayo and a piece of cheese. He got a butter knife and put mayo on the bread. He couldn't figure out how to open the cheese so I did help him with that. But other than that...he did the whole thing himself. I also make up snack bags that have some pretzels or chips and a small cookie in it. He made sure to grab one of those too. It amazes me how independent he is becoming. When we first brought him home, if you gave him a snack that needed opening but didn't open it, he would just look at it. Now, not only is he opening things....he's getting them for himself. It was so cute as he was looking inside the box to make sure everything was there. He managed to remember everything that normally goes in his lunchbox. Then he shut it and said, "Go?" I was so very proud! :)

Happy happy day!

2011-05-08T19:22:00.000-04:00

Today was my first Mother's Day! Last Mother's Day wasn't as sad as so many before because we were in the process to bring our Little Man home! :) It really seems that (for me) situational depression lessons if I am actually doing something to make it better. Since I was doing something to make me a Mama.....I wasn't so upset that I wasn't one yet. (Did that make sense to anyone but me?) Anyway, I AM a Mama now so I finally got to enjoy Mother's Day.

Honey let me sleep as long as I wanted today! When I got up (at 10 - oh my word!) Honey had Vlado come sit with me. He said something to Vlado (I don't remember exactly what) but Vlado looked at me and said, "Happy Mama Day!" Oh my heart about burst! Tears immediately sprang to my eyes but somehow he knew that I wasn't sad. He got a big smile on his face and I squeezed him so tight. Then, I got to have pizza and ice cream for breakfast. :) That is my ultimate! I got a sweet card too. Honey made it online (although it is from Vlado). On the front is a picture of me and Vlado that Honey took in Serbia. Beside the picture it says

Mama! Thanks for finding me and bringing me home. I always knew you were coming. Who is coming next? :)

Needless to say....there were more tears. I also was given a pretty figurine of a Mama holding her little one. Later that day, they took me to lunch. Vlado had a surprise for all of us. As we were sitting there, the waitress came up and asked us what we wanted to drink. Vlado said, "Apple juice!" She apologized to him and told him they didn't have apple juice but told him what they did have. He changed his choice to "Orange juice!" We were very proud that he ordered his drink. When she came back to ask us if we had made our decision on what to eat, he told her that he wanted a "Hot dog!" If you remember back to November, he was almost completely non-verbal. 5 months later, he is able (and has the confidence to) order for himself in a restaurant. This waitress did not know him, but he spoke clearly enough that she knew what he was saying.....and because he used his words, he got to have exactly what he wanted for lunch! He's growing up before my eyes!

I suck at blogging sometimes

2011-05-07T11:04:00.002-04:00

I'm sorry for my disappearance yet again. I have been working a ton of hours at work (might as well get the hours while they are available) and then I have Vlado at night. I am NOT complaining about that fact because it is what I wanted for so long. He is finally learning to be more independent which is amazing to watch. He was treated like a baby all his life before us....and when he finally came to live with us full-time, he didn't exactly like the fact that we had him do some things for himself. Now, don't get me wrong, he still knows that we are here to do things that he can't. But he CAN do some things and is learning that it is fun being able. He can dress himself, get his breakfast (take his yogurt out of the fridge, grab a banana, get his cup so I can pour juice), put the clean silverware away, help load the dishwasher, put away his clean clothes, and there are just so many other things he is learning to do. He LOVES to help. If we are doing something, you can see his little mind working trying to figure out what he can do. When we first came home, one of Honey's sisters sent Vlado a step stool. That stool gets used everyday. When we first brought him home, he was so afraid to climb up on anything. He was afraid of so much! Now, if he sees something he wants (or needs) that is too high, he will go find his stool so he can get up to get it. Then he gets this satisfied smile that he was able to get what he wanted without help. I LOVE this boy! Over the next few days, I'm going to go back and fill in things we have done recently. I am going to actually date them like I had written them on the days they happened. So, feel free to read older days. They will be between April 1 and today....but there won't be one for everyday. LOL! And I will actually add pictures.

Last day at Mimi and Papaw's house

2011-04-18T18:02:00.000-04:00

My brother's family had to get back home because the kids were not on school vacation. So, t0day, Vlado had Mimi and Papaw completely to himself. :) He LOVES attention so he was quite the happy camper. To top it off, my mom hadn't sent most of Vlado's Christmas presents at Christmas time. So, he had presents to open. He didn't like the whole opening presents thing at Christmas this year, but he seemed to enjoy it today. He got tons of toys, but his favorite (by far) was his calculator. I swear, he is obsessed with numbers! He spent hours on my parents' laps just typing away on the calculator and repeating the numbers. At one point, he started with putting in the number 500. Then he erased that number and put 501. He continued erasing and putting in the next number until he was at 600+ (I don't remember the exact number). My mom was kind of shocked the he could do the numbers in order and even if you interrupted him, he remembered where he had left off.

When Honey is bothering Vlado, he will say (in a most exasperated voice), "Please, Papa!" My dad was messing around with him today and he said, "Please......Man!" He couldn't remember what he was supposed to call my dad, so he just called him man. LOL!

My mom was pretty shocked that Vlado will still eat whatever we give him. His lunch today was a cheese sandwich, carrots, and a spoonful of cold baked beans. He chowed down. He truly will eat everything....except pineapple. I'm not sure why, but he really doesn't like pineapple, although he's not a huge fan of guacamole either. Gotta love this kid!

He has family!

2011-04-17T22:01:00.000-04:00

Vlado did pretty well in the hotel. He did wake up kind of disoriented at around 1am and was crying. Thankfully, I was able to calm him down pretty quickly (I gave him my silky and he went right back to sleep).

He was quite excited when we got back to my parents' house the next morning. Once again, he marched himself right up the steps and opened the door. I am normally a late riser so the fact that we walked through the door at around 9am kind of shocked my mom. The girls were just getting up, but I guess my nephew usually gets up pretty early so all the grownups were awake. The boys were immediately together. They did very well together. Honey brought out his iPad2 and the boys played angry birds. They were adorable because one would play and the other one would watch...and then they would switch. They did so well sharing and taking turns. It might not sound like a big deal....but this is something that Vlado doesn't do too well with yet. In several ways, he is still very much a toddler. But on this day, with his cousin, he seemed to grow. Both of the boys are very much into electronics and it was cute to see them playing together. It was good to see everyone because it had been around 9 months since I saw any of them. They were all very taken with our Little Man! :)

Off to Grandma's house

2011-04-16T23:50:00.002-04:00

Vlado has school vacation this week so we decided it was a good time for him to meet his grandparents (Mimi and Papaw) in the mountains. When we were packing up and getting ready to go, Vlado asked, "Airplane?" It was then I realized that the last time we traveled with him was when we brought him home. We found it sweet that he remembered this and thought that whenever we pack up.....we would be going on an airplane. I think he was a little sad when we told him no airplane, just the car. We were a little worried about the potty stuff since it is a 14 hour drive so we put him in a pullup for the trip. I am happy to report that he stayed dry the entire trip. Of course, we did have to stop every hour and a half or so because I have a small bladder. LOL! He became a pro pretty quickly though and figured out what rest stops were for. He had another first too today. He road a ferry for the first time. You can see from the pics that he LOVED it! We arrived at my parents' house at 11:30pm (the ride actually ended up being a little longer than normal because of rain). My brother and his family had driven over for the weekend so they could meet Vlado too. So, after 15+ hours of driving, you would think that he would have been a grump and just interested in sleep. Well, you would be wrong. He walked into my parents' house like he had been there a million times. He came in and got on the floor with the other kids and proceeded to play with matchbox cars. We have tried to get him interested in cars a bunch of times, and he wanted nothing to do with them. But, when you have cousins who want to play with you...I guess it is ok. :) I don't have any pics of him this first night. I had left my camera in the car. My dad took a few pics, but he hasn't sent them to me yet. We weren't there long because Honey and I were exhausted. But we were so excited to see Vlado meet some of his family!

Day 5

2011-04-01T21:27:00.002-04:00

A song that means a lot to you

I have to be honest....this changes regularly. I LOVE music and especially country music. At this moment, the song that means the most to me is the newest song by Rascal Flatts called "I Won't Let Go." It really reminds me of God's love for us and how He loves and supports in what He calls us to do.

Day 4

2011-03-31T18:52:00.003-04:00

A weird hobby or collection

I don't really have a weird hobby. I used to collect things when I was a kid, but not too much anymore. The only thing I really try to collect is magnets from everywhere we have been. Our fridge is littered with so many different magnets (and we really try to vary the type of magnet we get) to represent our travels. My favorites are a Texas shaped magnet with a scorpion in it (from San Antonio - we got engaged at the Alamo), a pretty lighthouse from Mystic, CT, and of course.....one we bought in Serbia that is Vlado's name in Cyrillic.

I'm not sure if that counts as weird. Honey does have a collection of antique mortar/pestles (he's a pharmacist so that's not really weird either).

Day 3

2011-03-30T21:46:00.005-04:00

Photos from your wedding

Well, since we got married in our living room, there aren't a ton of pics. These are the ones I have though. We had both been married before so we didn't want to have a big production of a wedding. Our living room was the perfect option. And this was our wonderful justice of the peace that was willing to come to our house to marry us. We only had one guest....he is the one who took the pics. :) Of course, I have to include the obligatory kissing pic.

Day 2

2011-03-29T22:51:00.003-04:00

Take a photo of a random part of your day and tell about it.

This picture was taken not too long after we got home with Vlado. But it is still part of almost everyday. We were a little worried how Vlado would be with our dog since we saw him be not so nice to the dog at his foster home. (He regularly sought out the dog to kick or smack it) But he and Bailey are best buddies! So much of their time is spent playing together and I love it!

LOL! And I'm sure you see my Diet Dr Pepper bottles....yes there are 2 bottles on my coffee table. But I'm sure I only drank one that day. :)

Day 1

2011-03-28T21:15:00.003-04:00

Meaning behind my blog name

I think it is pretty self explanatory. This blog was created to chronicle our adoption story and then life afterward. I do know that Vlado had a story before he came to us. So, I don't want anyone fussing at me for saying that his story didn't start until he got here. But, to be honest, he didn't have much of a life before he came to us. A child is hard pressed to have any normal childhood living in an orphanage and at the foster home.....most of his time was spent in the play room just being. I'm torn with knowing that he will probably not remember any of his life before us. It is probably good that he doesn't remember the bad, but I wish he could remember the good.

But, if nothing else.....Home is where OUR story started and where it continues everyday.

Blog Challenge - Day 0

2011-03-27T21:48:00.002-04:00

A fellow adopter/blog friend, Shelley, has decided to do a blog challenge. Me (being the copy-cat that I am) decided to join her in the adventure. I have been such a slacker at posting on my blog since we came home with Vlado. Hopefully this will kick me back into gear so I will post more regularly. :)

She took several blog challenges and made her own. This is the list of what I will be blogging about for the next month.

Day 0: The 30 Day Challenge Explanation and Description
Day 1: Meaning behind your blog name
Day 2: Take a photo of a random part of your day and tell us about it
Day 3: Photos from your wedding
Day 4: A weird hobby or collection
Day 5: A song that means a lot to you
Day 6: A random picture that makes you happy
Day 7: Favorite books
Day 8: A place you've traveled to
Day 9: Your favorite quote
Day 10: Something you're afraid of
Day 11: TV shows that your currently addicted to
Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without
Day 13: A photo that makes you laugh
Day 14: A website you love to visit
Day 15: Share a Bible verse
Day 16: Describe your dream house
Day 17: What’s in your purse?
Day 18: Photos from around your town
Day 19: Something you miss
Day 20: Nicknames
Day 21: Favorite Movies
Day 22: Share the oldest photo that’s saved on your computer
Day 23: Something you fear
Day 24: A photo of somewhere beautiful
Day 25: 3 things you hope to accomplish by the end of the year
Day 26: Something that stresses you out
Day 27: Your favorite poem
Day 28: A photo of the inside of your car
Day 29: 5 things you are thankful for
Day 30: a picture from today

I don't want to forget this

2011-03-10T22:13:00.002-05:00

This is one of those stories that Vlado will HATE when he gets older....but I really don't want to forget it. ;)

Honey has a little stuffed dog on his chair that has a pocket that hangs over the side to hold remote controls or TV guides...stuff like that. The dog is primarily tan but has a brown tail and brown ears. A while ago, Vlado was pointing to the different parts of the dog naming them. He pointed to the eyes and said eyes, to the ears and said ears, to the tongue and said mouth...then he pointed to the tail and said, "Go poop!" Oh my word!! Honey and I tried to control our laughter, but it was impossible. Thankfully, whenever someone laughs, Vlado laughs too.

Can you tell we are working on potty training around here?

He made a joke!

2011-03-03T22:11:00.001-05:00

I know this is going to sound goofy, but it made me so happy!!

This past week, Vlado was on vacation from school. During the week we worked (pretty intensely) on a few things. One of them was asking for things...ie, "May I have..." and he would fill in the blanks. His aide at school was very impressed at this development and said that it has helped with things at school because he now knows how to get what he wants. :)

Tonight as I was tucking him into bed (after we were done with his book and kisses and "night nights") he smiled and said "May I have the nintendo?" I laughed and said "No, it's time for sleep." He giggled and said it again...knowing he wouldn't get it and just being silly. For a child who had virtually no communication skills when we got him, I thought this was HUGE! In essence, this was the first actual conversation I have had with my son. And he had the ability to understand and respond like an average child (without speech delays)

I have giggled every time I have thought about it. Our little boy is finding his silly side and is realizing that communicating is kinda fun. :)

When we were there

2011-02-25T13:36:00.003-05:00

I am sad to admit that when Honey and I were in Europe, we did not enjoy our experience like we should have. :( Neither of us had ever been anywhere.....I mean other than Canada and Mexico (the part of Mexico you go on vacation) and other places on a cruise. But those places aren't really different. Those other countries, or the parts that Americans normally go to, are so "Americanized" that we don't feel the culture. I didn't truly grasp the concept of culture shock until we were in another country.....thousands of miles from home.

First of all, we were exhausted. We had decent flights and our layovers weren't too long, but neither of us had slept well in almost a week. Nerves do that to ya. :) On the way to our apartment, our facilitator told us what she had learned from Vlado's most recent medical. He had regressed and was more delayed than before. She also told us that he had started hitting himself when he would get frustrated. With our tired state and our nerves....this freaked us out! We spent the night worrying about what we had gotten ourselves into.

Our facilitator took us around the city a bit after we got there to help us get some food. We were both craving something familiar...anything familiar. We ended up coming back to the apartment with some eggs, bread, water...and a few specialty items that J said we needed to try. :) For dinner, Honey ended up having a hard boiled egg sandwich. He had wanted a fried egg sandwich, but somehow, I missed the drawer that held all the pots and pans so I used a coffee pot (metal) to boil up some eggs. This was just the beginning of our food woes during the trip.

I have to say that now that I've been home for a while, I realize that I was a baby while there. I was just so emotionally overwhelmed with everything that I didn't take time to enjoy our son's culture and country. We saw many things (forts, zoos, churches) and I enjoyed them....but I didn't soak it in. I am ashamed to admit this! There is another family there now and when I read about their experience....I am jealous. I wish I would have let myself experience it like they are. They will come home with so many wonderful memories. And the worst part is that I know that it is my own fault.

So, to future adoptive parents.....I beg you.....when you are in your child's country, enjoy it! I know that is easier said than done, but unless you plan to adopt again, chances are you will never see your child's country again. When you get home, there will be things that you wished you had done or seen or eaten. LOL! We brought home some food stuff that I have rationed. I bought some chips (ketchup flavored ones were my favorite) and we just ate the last of them last week. I also bought a bag and season thing for chicken and it was amazing! Oh, how I wish I would have bought more of those! The last thing that we have here are soup packets....kind of like really big oodles of noodles soups. I haven't made any yet, but the girls Honey works with that are from that area said they are delicious!

If/when we go again....I am going to be prepared. I am going to make myself realize this is a special occurance and home will come quick enough. I will let myself enjoy the sights, sounds, tastes and experiences. And I will be happy to have the opportunity!

Why it's painful

2011-02-24T18:31:00.002-05:00

This post of for those of you that haven't been there...the ones who haven't "done that." I hope it makes you understand just a little bit of my heart.

The pain I'm talking about doesn't really have to do with adoption, but at the same time has EVERYTHING to do with adoption. It isn't about the pain one experiences when they are going through the seemingly non-ending paperwork process. It's also not the pain of waiting, once everything is done, to get your travel date. Or the process in country (although that is a whole other post I've been trying to compose). It's not even the pain of parenting an older child. (Luckily, our experience has been very mild compared to some)

This pain is all consuming. It is caused by the knowledge of all the children who are left behind. It is caused when we know that we want to adopt again but can't get peace about any specific child. It is the haunting eyes I see in my sleep begging me to choose them. When we were at the orphanage, child after child came up to us and raised their arms to us. They weren't just begging to be picked up...they were begging to belong to someone. They didn't know us, but they wanted us to take them away. And this orphanage was one of the good ones! The ladies who work there truly care for the kids. They have doctors on staff that work with the children for physical therapy. They are given good nutritious food. But no matter how good an orphanage is....it is in no way a good substitute for a family.

I know that I should be satisfied with our son...and in one way I am! He is amazing and so smart! He amazes us everyday with what he has learned and how much he loves to learn. When he snuggles in my lap and rests his head on my shoulder....my heart melts. But at the same time, we know that we have more room...more love....more of everything. And we know that our family isn't complete. Vlado NEEDS a sibling. But I know that we have to wait until God reveals to us who our next child is. I don't want to force the issue. I want my heart to leap like it did when I first saw Vlado's picture in July 2008. I want to know in my heart....THAT IS MY CHILD! Please, God.....show me quickly!

Too cute

2011-02-04T11:55:00.000-05:00

Before I tell you the cute part of the story, let me give you a little background. When I was a little girl, I always slept with something silk. It probably started as a baby with a blanket that had a satin border....but as I got older, anything satiny would suffice. It was usually Mama's old slip or nightgown. Even as a teenager, when I would go to a friend's house for the night, I would bring my own pillow so I could put my *silky* in the pillowcase to be pulled out once everyone else was asleep. I just loved the feel of satin between my cheek and my pillow. I don't think anyone ever knew.

When I went to college, I decided I was too old to sleep with a silky anymore. But not long after I was there, I woke up one night from a bad dream. The only way I could get back to sleep was to pull out a slip from my dresser and sleep with that between my cheek and my pillow. Since I tell my mom pretty much everything, I told her about this embarrassing situation. She is the most amazing Mama and within a week of my telling her, I received a package from home. Inside was a satin pillowcase....pretty smart, huh? :) I slept with that pillowcase for years but somehow it got lost (probably during a move) a few years ago.

When Honey and I were living in the mountains, the house we rented had very flimsy blinds in the bedroom. I wake up pretty quickly when light comes in the room, so I had to figure out something. One morning (after the sun came pouring into our window at about 5am), I had had enough. I went to my dresser and pulled out the only black piece of clothing I owned....a slip. I put it over my eyes and ahhhhhh, darkness! But strangely, I fell right back into the habit of sleeping with a silky like I had never stopped....all night long, not just during the morning to block out the light. UGH! But the more I thought about it, why should I care? Yes, I am an adult and I shouldn't *need* a security blanket, but it is still very comforting and Honey doesn't mind. So, my silky is always there. Now to the cute part. :)

The other afternoon, Vlado was being quite the grump. So, I decided we needed a little nap. He very seldom actually takes a nap in the afternoon, but this day he REALLY needed one. So he didn't feel like he was being punished, I went with him and we slept in Mama and Papa's bed. At first, he was restless...tossing and turning and making sounds. For some reason, I put my silky on his chest. He immediately balled it up and rolled over on his side. The silky went between his cheek and the pillow and he was sleeping within 5 minutes. I had big tears in my eyes.....he's just like his Mama. :)

Has it been a year?

2011-01-30T10:13:00.000-05:00

Today is our anniversary....it's so hard to believe it has been a year since Honey and I tied the night right here at home. :) So much has changed since last year and the biggest change is sitting at his table enjoying his breakfast of yogurt and a banana.

This morning, Honey let me sleep in. I have had way too many migraines lately and I think it is from being over tired. So sleeping in was a wonderful gift! When I came downstairs, there was a package on my laptop. Now, we had agreed that we weren't getting each other gifts for our anniversary. We have been together for so many years that our actually marriage date isn't a huge deal. I know that sounds awful, but it was just a formality. We needed a piece of paper stating we were married to start the adoption process.

The gift was amazing! Honey had taken all the pictures we had from our adoption and had a book made at Shutterfly. I'm not sure how many of you have seen one of those....but it is an actual book. The picture on the front was one of Vlado on the first day we met him. The first pages were pictures we had been given when we first committed to adopting him....pictures of him when he was 3-4. The pictures weren't the best quality and turned out kind of fuzzy in the final product, but I was ok with that. It's kind of symbolic of his former life fading a bit. I had taken pictures of the airplanes we were on for our flights and of the flight boards showing our flights. He had even included pictures he took of our dossier package when he mailed it. There are pictures of his foster family and our adoption team.....and on and on. The picture on the back of the book is one taken of him once we were home. I bawled as I looked at it. Honey knows me so well!

I guess I wasn't clear

2011-01-16T11:21:00.002-05:00

What I am looking to do has nothing to do with my blog. It is something I want to be able to change (as necessary) as part of a craft project. I want to be able to customize it according to my need for different customers. I want to make a sort of photo sticker that is about 3 inches in diameter and looks similar to the sketch from my previous post. The pictures or graphics and text will be different on each finished product. If I knew the abilities and/or limitations of photo shop or one of the hundreds of other photo editing software....I might know how to do it. :( But sadly, I have never had or used any of those programs.

I need help

2011-01-15T22:52:00.005-05:00

This is not adoption related, but I do need help. I so wish I was computer savvy and knew how to create a type of art using pictures or graphics. It is really hard to explain what I want to do. This is a very rough sketch I made using paint on the computer.

I want the "button" to be about 3 inches in diameter. I want to be able to add a few pictures or small clip art graphics scattered around the inside of the button (like a sort of collage). And I want to be able to add text in the in between parts. Does that totally confuse you? I have searched the internet for hours looking for some sort of photo editing program that I could do this, but you can't look at all the features of a program without buying it. How am I supposed to know if I can do what I want to do with it? I don't want to buy a program that I'm not going to be able to use. I guess maybe I don't even know what keywords to use for my search. Any techie people out there able to help me??

Do people think??

2011-01-02T22:21:00.002-05:00

Today I worked while Papa stayed home with Vladan. Being the sweet man that he is, he brought me lunch. While he and Vladan were hanging out in the pharmacy, I waited on a lady. She asked Vladan if Santa brought him everything he wanted. He responded typically by repeating her question...although most can't really understand what he says. I explained that we just adopted him from Serbia and he is still working on English. We talked for a few more minutes about his age, if he lived in an orphanage...stuff like that. (It's amazing how many personal questions people feel it is their right to ask...but that's a different post) Anyway, while we were talking, another lady walked up and just listened. As the first lady was turning to leave she said, "You are going to Heaven." I responded, "I'm not going to Heaven for adopting." Then, wait for it.......The other lady said, "No, not for adopting one of those kids." I was shocked. I literally stood there with my jaw about an inch from the floor. I think she then realized that she actually said that out loud. She just turned and waved, "Bye, folks." I wanted to jump the counter and pound her. I am not a violent person, but she just insulted my child. And the whole time, he was quietly sitting on a chair playing with a calculator. What on earth did he do to her to deserve such disgust? It's probably a good thing that I was the one working. Otherwise, I might have followed her out of the pharmacy and asked her what her problem was with my son. GRRRRR!!!!! Some people really tick me off!

Happy New Year!

2011-01-01T20:12:00.002-05:00

Today was the first day of Vladan's first whole year that he will spend in the US. Honey decided last night that we would let Vladan stay up to watch the ball drop. (Not that he had any idea what that meant) Around 11pm, I put him on the couch and covered him with an afghan. He moved all around until about 11:57 when he finally nodded off. When the ball dropped, Honey got up and started being goofy dancing all around and "celebrating." LOL! Vladan woke up (a little confused) and got up to dance with Papa. This dancing lasted until about 12:02am when Mama decided it was time for bed. Vladan didn't argue (actually he never does) as I took him upstairs. He proceeded to make noises and bang his legs to keep himself awake but thankfully, it only lasted about 15 minutes. I have several resolutions, but I'm not sharing them yet. I think after last year, since I failed on all of them within a week......I need to not embarrass myself again. :)

I pray that 2011 is as eventful as 2010. I mean, I got married on Jan 30th and became a mom on Nov 25th. On 2nd though......I'm not sure it is possible for 2011 to be as eventful as 2010. But here's hoping it has some REALLY exciting moments. :)

Visit

2010-12-17T13:18:00.002-05:00

Our social worker came for a visit today. She was amazed at how well Vladan has adjusted to being here. She watched him do puzzles and play with legos. We talked for about an hour. When she scheduled this visit, she asked if it was ok to bring someone with her. A high school student had contacted her about possibly visiting with an adoptive family because he is doing a community service project on adoption. He was very interested in the process and went on and on about how cute Vladan is (which most people do). LOL!

We mentioned visiting the orphanage and all the kids there that touched us. I said something about wanting to go back for another one at some point. She said, "I don't remember you saying anything about adopting two." She told us when we first met last February that she did not agree with people who adopted tons and tons of kids. I'm not sure what her opinion is as far as when she would approve us for another adoption.....I didn't broach that subject today. Knowing her as much as I do...I can imagine she would want Vladan home for at least a year before she would do another home study. We will see. We're not 100% sure of what God's plan is for us at this point. We are just living day by day as a new family. If we find another child we feel led to, it will work out like it's supposed to.

Serbian foods

2010-12-16T23:54:00.003-05:00

When we were in Serbia, I missed food from home. Now that we're home, I have been looking for recipes for food from Serbia. Some of the foods that I have while I was there that I really liked were a traditional flat bread called lepinja (pronounced lep-in-ya), ajvar (pronounced something like ivar *long i sound*) which is a roasted red pepper spread, and kajmak (kimack with long i sound) a cream cheese type cheese spread. I put the three of them put together and it tasted pretty good especially if I warmed the bread because the kajmak would melt and get all gooey. The ajvar gave it a nice little kick. Although I was told that it isn't customary to eat kajmak and ajvar together, my uneducated American palate found it yummy. I found a site tonight that had recipes for all three! I might have to make some of the bread soon, although I'm not sure Vladan's foster mom made bread. She seemed to give him a lot of processed type food...instant mashed potatoes, canned ham, chips, stuff like that. I tend to make American comfort food. Roasted chicken, real mashed potatoes, buttered carrots, pork roast.......meat from a can, not so much (except tuna and occasionally chicken for chicken salad when I don't have any leftover chicken on hand). I haven't made bread with my bread maker since we've been home. Although I did make homemade buscuits and he seemed to scarf those. But then again, they were covered in chicken and gravy. :) I do have to say that I am a lucky Mama in that my child will eat anything I put in front of him. I'm sure that won't last forever, but for now, I am using that to my advantage. Leftovers never go to waste!

Coolest idea!!

2010-12-15T12:27:00.005-05:00

You have got to see this idea! It's a GREAT way to help Reece's Rainbow kiddos' grants increase. You don't have to send hundreds....just a dollar or two would help! And it is tax deductible. :)

It's called the PERFECT CHRISTMAS GIFT

If you remember, we found our son through Reece's Rainbow. There are sooooooooooooooo many little ones on the site waiting for their family to find them. Believe it or not, there is not a shortage of families who WANT to adopt. But there is a shortage of money for them to be ABLE to adopt. So, your donation could be the drop in the bucket that allows a family to commit to a child.

If you want to see all the waiting kids, go HERE. Nellie is the angel I have been advocating for, but I will be happy to know that my friends donated for ANY CHILD!!!

A first

2010-12-13T22:41:00.002-05:00

Honey went back to work this past Friday. A couple of the techs at his store gave notice while we were gone, so they are short tech help. The pharmacy manager asked me to fill in a little. That's not a problem, but I can only do it on days that Honey doesn't work. Today was the first day. Vladan and Papa spent the day together and from what I was told, it was a really good day! Vladan stayed dry all day while at the house. While they were out, he was in a pullup and although he used the potty while they were out and about, he messed himself on the way home. Poor Papa had to clean a dirty pullup....his first since we got Vladan. LOL! He can't figure out that part of the potty yet....hopefully it won't be too long. He's so good at peeing in the potty (after just a day or two) I guess I can deal with the other part taking a bit longer.

We finally decorated the tree (that we put up a couple days ago). Vladan is quite the perfectionist and got angry a couple times because his ornament fell off. Our tree is a bit off balance. The top is perfectly decorated (by Papa) and the bottom is heavy with ornaments in one part and bare in the other. It's the prettiest tree I've ever had! :) We even put a santa hat on Vladan while he decorated......he threw such a fit when it fell off (it's an adult size). We truly can't help but chuckle at him sometimes when he gets angry at goofy stuff. But he's getting better.

Success!!

2010-12-12T19:19:00.002-05:00

When we first found out that Vladan was not potty trained, I was a little worried. Why on earth would a 6 (almost 6 1/2) year old boy still be in diapers? We were told it was because he "didn't like the potty." Um, ok. I was a little nervous that there might be some medical reason why he couldn't be trained. I truly didn't want to be changing diapers indefinitely.

When we first came home, I decided to wait a bit to try potty training. There were a gazillion other things he would have to get used to and bad habits to unlearn first. Well, for some reason, I decided today was the day to start trying. This afternoon, I took his pull-up off and put big boy underwear on him. We went to the bathroom every 10 minutes or so and I had him try. He knows what is supposed to happen...he just didn't seem to know how to make it happen. Well about 45 minutes after we first put the underwear on, he wet himself. Let me tell you this, he HATED that feeling! Since I don't have 20 pairs of underwear for him (yet) I let him "go commando." We still went to the potty every 10 minutes or so. Then one time, I just told him to go pee and he went in by himself. Of course, this was the time I heard a little tinkle in the potty!!! Success! I went in and clapped and praised and he thought this was hilarious! About 1/2 hour later, we had another success. It was probably an hour later, he pointed to the bathroom. When I asked if he needed to potty, he shook his head and went in. HE WENT AGAIN and this was the first time he went because he felt that he needed to go. He had another bathroom success, but I won't tell you about that. Because that would be just too much! LOL!

Isn't he gonna kill me when he gets older and finds out that I blogged about his potty successes! :)

Wow

2010-12-11T23:31:00.000-05:00

We put up our Christmas tree tonight (although we didn't decorate yet). We have a pretty nice artificial tree that has built in lights which makes setting it up pretty easy. We tried to have Vladan help us, but I think he found it too prickly so he went back into the living room. We did get a couple pics though of the few minutes he helped. When we were done, we turned the lights on the tree on and all the other lights off and had Vladan come in the room. His eyes got big and he said, "Wow!" It was almost like a loud whisper. It was too funny! Wow is one of his English words that he uses correctly and is very understandable.

Later last night, around 9:15 or so, Honey told him to go to bed. I have put him to bed every night since we got him. To our surprise, he went over to Honey and gave him a kiss and then marched his little self upstairs and got into bed. I found it interesting in a couple ways. Number 1....he understood what Papa said. Number 2.....he did what was asked. Number 3....we went upstairs (in the dark) by himself and crawled into bed without turning any lights on. Don't worry. We went upstairs and praised him and kissed him goodnight. And we didn't hear another peep from him.

Blogging slacker

2010-12-10T09:52:00.002-05:00

Yep, that would be me!! I am finding myself busier than I thought I would be. Not that I expected Vladan to watch TV 24/7, but he doesn't seem interested in it at all. So, finding time to get stuff done, even a shower (when Papa isn't home) is a challenge. He is learning so much and his brain can't seem to get enough! For that reason, he is sooooooooooo curious and into everything!

I am going to do my best to get the blog updated by the end of the weekend. So make sure you go back to where I stopped blogging and read all the updates. I am going to wrack my brain to remember what happened on every day and post for that day. :)

I have to call the school today and see if we might be able to go down sometime soon and have him check it out. I know it's soon, but I really think he would benefit from the social interaction and for us to be able to get him evaluated to see exactly where we are...and make a plan to help him reach his potential.

Have Visa....will travel

2010-12-01T11:01:00.002-05:00

The embassy was supposed to call us when the authorization came in. We waited, and waited, all morning. They close from noon to 2pm for lunch, so at 11:30, I called them. The guy who answered the phone was the same guy from yesterday. I guess he forgot to call me. GRRRR!! He asked if I could be there by noon. Uh, yep, I can! He told me that only one of us needed to go. I am the one who feels more comfortable in the city, so I am the one who went. Our facilitator would have killed me for going by myself. But, I did it. I got a cab and made it to the embassy. I went in and after just a minute or two of waiting, I had his visa in my hand! Then, I walked back to the apartment. I stopped at the grocery store for a few things, and at a little shop for a couple gifts. Then I got home in time to make lunch for the boys.

The rest of the day, we just relaxed. All except the little bit of time that we all went out to finish buying souvenirs and gifts. In the evening, we finished packing up to go home! I can't believe we have everything we need to go home tomorrow! We have to be ready at 4:30am to be picked up by our driver. I'm not sure I will even get to sleep. It feels like we have been here for a year and I just can't wait to sleep in my own bed and, oh yeah...guzzle a Diet Dr Pepper!

Who said it was easy?

2010-11-30T18:42:00.000-05:00

We had Vladan's medical appointment this morning for his Visa. It was the most basic doctor's visit I have ever seen. The doc listened to his heart, listened to his lungs and felt his belly. She didn't look at his eyes, his ears, his throat....nothing. She didn't even weigh or measure him. I was a bit bummed about that because I would have loved an official weight and height for him. We did get a copy of his vaccination records though which will be beneficial later.

At 2pm, we had our Visa appointment. There weren't many people at the embassy that day....actually there weren't any there on Friday when we went the first time either. We got in pretty quicky and the interview was very basic. Why did you adopt? Why from Serbia? Are you prepared for his special needs? (This was the first time anyone asked us these questions...which we found strange) Then the guy said, "That is all for today. You can come back tomorrow to pick up the Visa." Um, what?? We were told that we could get the Visa the same day. We changed our plane tickets to leave Wednesday at 6:45am. The guy that we dealt with on Friday was also there, and he said, "We can get it today." Whew! So, back out into the waiting room. We wait, and wait, and wait. Then he comes back out and says that they are waiting on some authorization from Washington, DC. So we wait some more. He comes back out and says they are still waiting....if they get it by 4:45, we can have it today, if not...."We are sorry." It was 4:15 at that point. I had been praying the whole time...begging God to make the authorization come through. But 4:45 came and still nothing. We left and I was completely broken. We walked back to the apartment from the embassy (probably 3/4 mile or so) in the snow. Vladan is a trooper and trudged through without a single complaint.

We made it back to the apartment and Honey sent out an email to Eldon to change our plane tickets...again. I sent a text to our facilitator about what to do about the apartment....we were only paid up and "reserved" to stay through tonight. Eldon got back to Honey relatively quickly and there were seats available on Thursday. And our facilitator worked it out for us to stay another night at the apartment and she told us that ours was the first problem any adopting family has EVER had. EVERYONE has always gotten the Visa the same day. Somehow, that didn't help me feel better about the situation. :(

I didn't even want to think about dinner....I was frustrated and homesick and frustrated. (Did I say that already?) There was a chicken place right down the street from our apartment. I walked down (by myself...I needed a break and Honey was happy to stay in the warm apartment) Thank the Lord, there was a guy there who spoke English. I'm not sure I was up for charades at this point. I went back to the apartment and boiled up some carrots and potatoes (for a taste of home) and dinner was pretty good! It's funny though...we were told that Vladan doesn't like chicken. He must have been hungry, because he devoured chicken tonight.

So, we wait, again. I know God had a reason for saying, "Not yet!" when I prayed today. And I'm a spoiled brat for being upset about it. :(

No want

2010-11-28T16:17:00.003-05:00

**I wrote this post when we were in Serbia and I felt so down. That's why I didn't post for a while. I was just in a funk and didn't want to share my negativity! But, I think it might be important for others to read about someone who didn't find the whole experience to be Heavenly.

This is what Vladan says several times a day...of course it is in Serbia. Everyone at the foster home and his social worker thought it was hilarious when he would say it. I DO NOT! Because he will say it when I tell him to move away from the TV (it's a large screen TV in the apartment and he tries to get about 6 inches from it). He says it when I tell him to eat his food and not try to get ours. He says it when I ask him to play legos with me. And the list goes on and on.....he only wants to do what he wants to do when he wants to do it. I guess that's typical 6 year old behavior, but I am tired and am not dealing well with it.

Tonight, I went searching for a blog that expressed what I am feeling right now. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining.....I am just, well, I'm not sure what I am. I don't feel like myself and that is confusing. I don't want to tell anyone this for fear of them judging me. I don't want my family to worry. I just wish someone else felt like I do.....or would write it down so I don't feel so alone. I know it takes time to get to know each other. I know that he is just testing us right now because he has never been made to mind. I know that we have only had him for 9 days and he has 6 years of bad habits to unlearn. I know all of this...with my HEAD. It's my heart that can't comprehend. I should love this child to the end of the earth. He is what I longed for for so long. I should be willing to overlook some of his bad behaviors and....all the "I shoulds" that are out there. But right now, all I want to do is come home. I don't feel like I've made a mistake coming here. I am just....well, Mama no want to feel this way anymore!

A day of nothing....but waiting

2010-11-27T10:05:00.001-05:00

Today is Saturday which means nothing gets done. We were going to explore the city, maybe see St. Sava's Cathedral, but it's pretty cold. We decided that we would all go stir crazy if we stayed in the apartment all day, so we bundled up (well, we bundled up Vladan....Honey and I had looked at the weather in Serbia before we left, and it seemed pretty warm. Um, we didn't bring coats) We decided it was a good McDonalds day (although everyday there seemed like a good McDonalds day) I remembered my camera and got some shots of Vladan's first Happy Meal. He didn't realize it came with a toy....which was a good thing because the "toy" was a juice cup. We kept the bag from his first Happy Meal to go in his memory box. He will probably think his parents are goofy for saving something like that. :)

On the way back to the apartment, we stopped at the grocery store to get a few things to snack on at the apartment. And we found....a frozen pizza! The grocery stores here are tiny like our mini marts at home. So, navigating them with a touchy 6 year old is challenging, to say the least. So, Papa took him outside for a couple minutes so Mama could focus on shopping. Coke Zero has saved me here (since I couldn't get my Diet Dr Pepper) and Honey has discovered a liking for Fanta. So, sodas, a loaf of bread, the pizza and toilet paper...plus a few other small things, and I was out the door. When we got back to the apartment, Honey put the groceries away...good man, huh? A few minutes later, he poured himself a glass of fanta...and that was when we discovered that there are 2 different flavors of Fanta that are colored orange. Hmmm, if I was able to read the language, I would have known that I chose exotic flavored (thank you Google Translate) instead of orange. I can't really put my finger on the taste....it was kind of pineapple, pina colada, tangerine.....or a mix of all those. Vladan got really lucky because he got to finish that one. :) We are lucky with the fact that this boy eats/drinks everything we give him.

Prayers

2010-11-26T10:05:00.004-05:00

The Bible says the effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man AVAILETH much. In the last few days, I can say that even the fervent prayer of this non-righteous woman availeth much also! Yesterday, we applied for Vladan's passport. There are a couple things that are difficult to get a tired 6 year old to do. Step one: we had to get him to roll his finger (for a fingerprint) across the fingerprint machine. He didn't totally understand what they were doing and the machine was warm so it scared him. Papa was holding him in his lap and I was behind praying my butt off (probably not the right way to say it). I just kept begging God to calm Vladan's spirit and let him know that it was ok. They had to get both index fingers. Finally, after 10 minutes, they somehow managed to get the prints!! Prayers availeth much! Step two: He had to sit still in a little booth to get his picture. Mama sat on the floor of the booth so he wouldn't be scared, but he refused to sit still. More prayers! Finally, Papa managed to get behind the lady taking the picture and made faces at Vladan. He watched Papa very carefully and was still enough for the picture. I don't think his face was a very good one, but it's a picture. More availing (is that a word?) Now to today.

Honey and I managed to find our way to the US embassy today. I called the embassy this morning to find out what we needed to do and the guy told us to come down this afternoon. I told him that we had our son with us and we didn't have his passport yet. Thankfully, he said this was not a problem! (Anyone see God working?) We left about an hour earlier than our appointment. We walked toward the cathedral that isn't far from our apartment. With as popular as this place is, we thought for sure there would be taxis. Nope! So, once again, prayers started going up. Honey was about to give up and just wait until Monday, and I had an idea. I had him wait with Vladan on the sidewalk and I went to the street. I pulled off a "New York cab hail wave" like I had been doing it my whole life and I GOT ONE. (In reality, I have never hailed a cab in my entire life) The guy even spoke a little English! (Score, God!) We got to the embassy about 20 minutes early (everyone was on break) and they let us in the waiting room. At 2pm, we met with the guy I spoke with this morning. He was super nice (I was worried about that) and gave us the paperwork we needed. As we were leaving, we asked about McDonalds. The guy gave us great directions and we had the best Big Macs I remember in forever! I hadn't brought my camera so I don't have pics of what I think might have been Vladan's first McDonalds cheeseburger. After that, we tried to get a cab back to the cathedral, but couldn't find anyone who spoke English or was even willing to try to figure out what I wanted. So, we started walking (and I started praying) After just a couple blocks, we recognized where we were. It wasn't too far from where we hailed the cab before and we knew how to get back to our apartment from there! (Isn't God good? I mean, there were 4 different ways to go when we got out of McDonalds, and God sent me the right way!) We even found a nice little grocery store where we got spaghetti and some Barilla sauce (I hope it's spaghetti sauce) for dinner! Honey said that I had a very good day because I got us where we needed to go and back. I have to say that it wasn't me......it was ALL GOD!

Unprepared

2010-11-26T04:15:00.007-05:00

*A little long - sorry

I truly thought I was prepared for this adoption thing. You would think, after reading adoption blogs for 10 years that I would know the process in and out, right? Unfortunately, wrong. I'm not sure how I overlooked this. Yesterday, our facilitator told us that we needed to go to the embassy (by ourselves) and pick up visa paperwork to fill out. Uh, what? I was completely confused. I pulled out my adoption handbook and it said that sometime during the daily visits, we would go to the embassy to do preliminary paperwork and set up our visa appointment. Well, our daily visits were an hour away and we have yet to see the embassy. Hmmmmm. Luckily, I have wonderful online friends who have talked me down from a panic attack more than once since we left almost 2 weeks ago. They knew exactly what I needed to do. I just need to get the I-600 and fill it out. If I would have realized this, I would have printed it out at home and had it filled out already. What I don't get is, HOW DID I MISS THIS??? There is one little issue though. Since we don't yet have Vladan's passport, he can't go into the embassy. So, I guess one of us could go to the embassy and the other could stay here with Vladan. If we could find an internet cafe with a printer, we could print out the paperwork (if we could find someone in the cafe that spoke English) Our facilitator said that it might be possible to print it out at the lawyer's office on Monday. Oh, how I wish I would have realized I needed this. Somehow, I thought that when we did the I-600a, we were all set. I also have to call the embassy to see if there is anything other than the I-600 that they need from us and to set up a visa appointment. We are thinking it would be best to schedule it on Tuesday afternoon because we can't get his passport until Monday. And we have to fit the medical appointment in somewhere in between. I am nervous though because sometimes they can't issue the visa the same day. We really want to fly out on Wednesday, but what if the visa doesn't get done on Tuesday? We haven't changed our plane tickets yet because we're afraid. Oh, how I ramble!

I am glad to be back in the apartment in Belgrade! There is a washing machine here and although there isn't a dryer, I am happy! On the hotel's website (the one we stayed at in Pozarevac) it said they had laundry service. It turns out that the cost was 1 euro.....per piece of laundry. So, we just had them wash our jeans and sweatshirts and a few other things (10 pieces total). The rest of the laundry, I hand washed and hung to dry. Oh, how much of a pain that was. The first thing I did when we got here yesterday was put a load of laundry in the washer! I am so thankful that the apartment has a very cool drying rack. I will post pics of it and the apartment a little later....oh yeah, I haven't posted pics of the hotel, have I? I hung them up last night at about 9pm and they were dry this morning...all except the jeans but they were about 90% dry. :) I am so excited to get back home to my dryer. I thought I would be able to post video here....but this internet seems too slow too. So, you have to wait for the cute videos until we get home. I guess I should end this post and fold laundry.

It's a little hard to see, but these are 2 twin beds...with 2 blankets. It made it really hard sleeping with Vladan between us. He tended to settle into the crack between the beds. LOL!

This is the bathroom from the hotel. Can you see how small the shower is? Actually, the picture doesn't do it justice. Being a larger person in this part of the world makes life a bit more difficult.

Our closet and Vladan (of course). If you notice the above pic and this one....you see his hand. He ALWAYS has to be touching something. We were so thankful that the TV was on the wall. It was too high for him to touch.

I found it interesting that even the hotel used clothes lines to dry the towels and sheets. I'm sure the cleaning ladies here would LOVE dryers. :)

Thanksgiving dinner

2010-11-25T16:28:00.000-05:00

We made it back to the apartment in Belgrade at about 7pm. When we were done with our late lunch with our facilitator, lawyer and driver, they had all the leftover bread, salad (cheese, red bell peppers, cabbage, cream cheese) and the rest of our dinners wrapped up for us to take. Tonight at about 8, we were a little hungry. So, being the make shift cook that I am, I made dinner using the leftovers. The traditional bread that they have is kind of flat....think of a Boboli pizza crust, only about twice as thick. That gave me an idea!! I took the leftover "loaf" of bread and put a little spaghetti sauce on it. I broke up Vladan's leftover burger and sliced up some of the peppers. Then I broke up the cheese on the top....pizza!! Then I put it in the oven. This is where I had a little problem. Only, I didn't realize it was a problem until I smelled burning pizza. The oven was in celcius and I guess I didn't remember how to calculate it as well as I thought. The pizza was still edible, just a little toasted. Vladan scarfed it, so I guess it wasn't too bad. I would have taken a picture, but I didn't want to be embarassed by the blackened crust. :(

But still, it was a pretty good Thanksgiving feast! :)

One less orphan - officially!

2010-11-25T14:20:00.003-05:00

Today November 25, 2010 at 12:30pm, we were declared parents. Our boy was born August 14, 2004 in Pozarevac, Serbia and is now our forever son! We are pleased to announce for the first time.....Vladan Breen. (Serbia does not allow the addition of a middle name, and we are not sure what his middle name will be...so for now, it is just Vladan Breen)

This picture was taken at lunch/dinner. You can see the proud Papa behind. :)

Praise the Lord!!

2010-11-24T09:54:00.006-05:00

We have our signature! We found just a few minutes ago that the minister finally signed the final report and we should have our adoption ceremony tomorrow! Our facilitator said the ministry office here in this town closed at 2:30 and the minister signed after that. So she has been making phone calls trying to get it arranged to have the ceremony in the morning. I guess I will have to be up REALLY early checking emails to know when we need to go! If we get done really early, we can get the other paperwork done here and then we can head back to the capital city. We might even get to have pizza or McDonalds for dinner...dare we hope? I really don't want my blog to be a downer, but we are so terribly homesick. This smaller place doesn't have many people who speak English (outside of the hotel) so, I don't know, we feel so out of place. But hopefully tomorrow we will get back to a little more normal!

The second day that we were with Little Man (still at the foster home), he brought him some legos. He didn't seem to know what to do with them. He thought it was better to just put them back in the bag. Now, he is building all by himself.

He was picking up his tower to show us his creation. He was so excited! His new favorite word is, "WOW!!" That's what Honey and I said when we saw how big his tower was. ;)

Doesn't he look proud?? So adorable watching him learn new things...especially how to play! (This is actually the 2nd tower. The first one crashed as he was trying to get it to us. We were surprised he didn't get mad...just sat down and did it again! That is a big step...he likes to give up when something doesn't go his way.)

Our happy boy

2010-11-23T12:40:00.003-05:00

This little guy is so happy. I am not saying it has all been easy and sunshiny. We are experiencing probably 4-5 temper tantrums a day because he has quite the stubborn side. Since we don't have any other children, we are playing a guessing game most of the time. I have a question for you experienced parents....how do you know when you are doing it right? I don't want to question my parenting ability, but it is happening anyway. I love to see him smile, but I'm afraid I'm doing something wrong when he throws one of his fits. I don't want to give him everything he wants because that will bite us all later, but I hate to see him so upset. UGH! I finally got him to smile for pictures today. Isn't it gorgeous?!

We love his little voice!

2010-11-23T02:22:00.004-05:00

He has the sweetest voice. He tries so hard to say words, but he can't make certain sounds. We are anxious to get him with a speech therapist to see how quickly he will start talking our ears off. :) He knows how to say "Bravo" and LOVES when we say it to him!

Blessed pizza

2010-11-21T13:21:00.003-05:00

Honey and I are really missing home right about now. I used to think it was silly when adoptive parents spoke of being so homesick (unless they had little kids at home....I get that one) But we are REALLY missing everything about home. It smells different here (lots of smog), it sounds different here (lots of dogs barking and of course the language), it looks different here (so many things there), it tastes different (and that one I didn't think I would have a problem with). But we are truly missing spaghetti, cheeseburgers, tacos, chinese food, mac and cheese, pizza (I could truly go on for an entire post)

I went out last night looking for a burger. Honey stayed here at the hotel with Little Man because it was dark. (Don't worry....this city is safe and I only went about 2 blocks). There is gyro shop right down the street and I noticed a sign hanging that looked like a burger. I went in and said, "English?" The poor lady looked like I asked if I could cut off her arm. So, I just pointed to the burger looking thing and held up 2 fingers. Believe it or not, I actually got what I asked for minus the lettuce, tomato and pickles. She probably tried to ask me about that, but of course I had no idea what she was saying. I brought my prize back to the hotel and Honey, Little Man and I had dinner. They were pretty good although we're not exactly sure what it was....it definitely wasn't hamburger. Our driver said he thought it might be pork...we have had a lot of pork since we got here.

Our facilitator took us to the capital city today to see another fort and a couple more churches. After we were done walking (literally hours of walking) we said we needed to get Little Man something to eat. We brought some chips so he wasn't starving but I was beginning to get very hungry! She asked if we liked pizza and of course we answered, "YES!" She took us to a very nice pizzeria and I tell you, the pizza was heavenly! It was rather simple with just sauce, cheese and ham, but it tasted like home! Now to just find a real cheeseburger! :)

Too bad our facilitator didn't know how to zoom in. This is a very good picture of the three of us. Of course, Little Man looks rotten in it. :)

Fighting Sleep 101

2010-11-21T13:15:00.003-05:00

This information is courtesy of the 6 year old resident of Hotel Konak room 5.

Fighting sleep sure is an art, but it can be learned. One easy way to ensure you will not fall asleep is to suck your fingers so hard that you make a slurping sound. Next, make sure you don't keep your legs still. Wiggle them back and forth or kick your feet...not enough to make Mama mad, but enough to keep you from sleeping. Humming to yourself works very well also. It is an extra blessing when you get help from other people....like when someone from the room next door decides to start hammering something around 9:30. That saves you having to use up your own resources. And you can count on the many dogs that roam the city to band together and cause a raucous every half hour or so.

Unfortunately, I have not been able to figure out how to stay awake indefinitely. But I know how to keep Mama and Papa from sleeping. :) I just flail my arms all over. (I might have given Papa a couple bruises on his head last night)

Great night sleep - for Little Man

2010-11-20T10:58:00.007-05:00

LONG POST!!
He slept great last night!! We were a little worried about him sleeping in the regular bed since he is used to the crib, so I slept on the side of bed with him closer to the middle (or should I say the other side that is right by the other bed) Let me start at the beginning of last evening. Our hotel room doesn't have a bathtub, and the shower is barely big enough to turn around in. He was a little scared at first because he didn't really understand what was going on. I finally got his clothes off and got him in the shower. Thankfully the shower is a hand held one so I was able to get it close to him, but it still was scary. I did the fastest shower in history. I got him wet and then totally soaped him up (thankfully I found Johnson's baby shampoo in the grocery store) then rinsed him off. Then we got him dried off....he enjoyed "helping" me do that part. He absolutely LOVED his pajamas! He kept patting his chest with a big grin on his face!! Then it was time for bed. I pulled back the cover and he jumped right in. Honey wasn't ready for bed yet so we turned the main light off (left the bathroom light on) and left the TV on. He laid in bed for about 20 minutes watching TV and sucking his fingers. Then he was out! He slept all night except for about 30 seconds at around midnight. He woke up and sort of screamed, but I rubbed his back and he went back to sleep. We're not sure if he had a bad dream or woke up and didn't know where he was....but it was good that he comforted quickly. This morning was fun. We cuddled and played with him kind of climbing on top of us....it really felt like bonding taking place.

Our facilitator took us to another town today to visit a fort and church. Little Man did so well at the church while the priest told us about it (in English). The fort was HUGE! And they had a really cool playground that we had fun at after we walked the fort. We were out longer than normal and Little Man didn't eat on time....he was hungry! So, we stopped and got him a little bag of "Chipsy" chips. They were ketchup flavored and believe it or not..they were really good. This child will eat anything, so far anyway. He loves soup and does pretty well feeding himself. He is learning that Mama dips her bread in everything and is starting to do it too. :)

On another note, he is so curious about the potty. Whenever he wets his diaper...he pats the front of his pants and then goes toward the bathroom. I take him in there and he stands by the potty (like Papa) and tries, but of course we haven't gotten it yet because he just went in his diaper. Hopefully he will figure it out and we will make it in time. I think if he does it once, he will start getting it. We had a very good first whole day together. Oh, by the way.....the size 5's clothes that I brought for him are too big. I am guessing maybe he wears a size 4.

Little Man sleeping. I was a little afraid the flash would wake him up, but I chanced it anyway. Don't all new mamas take pictures of their child sleeping? :)

Papa sleeping next to his son. (Well, we're not official yet since we haven't had the adoption ceremony yet, but it sure feels official!)

Me and Little Man at the fort. Papa hates getting his picture taken, but I swear I will get some pics of them together sooner or later. *It is nearly impossible to get a picture of him smiling. This is because he wants the camera and is pouting because he can't have it. We took his glasses strap off today because it makes his glasses too tight. But then his glasses slip down and he hasn't figured out yet when to push them up.

This is us at the cool playground. He wasn't too sure about this slide at first. The slide here at the hotel is small. Honey said his face looked like he was scared at first. Then he went to try it again. Eventually, he was practically running to the steps to go again!

This shirt is a size 5...see how big it is on him? The little girl behind him is Sophia. She is 2 1/2 and when we went there, she asked our facilitator if she wanted something to eat. LOL! She was also using soda caps under the slide set "making coffee" for people.

Interesting day

2010-11-19T14:17:00.002-05:00

This morning was one of the most emotional of my life! We went to the foster home at about 11 this morning. After spending about an hour playing, we were called into the other room for the foster mom to tell us some things about Little Man. She told us what he likes to eat and that if he gets upset, that a snack will usually calm him down. She told us how to hold him close if he has a bit of a meltdown (which she says doesn't happen often, but it will happen). Then our translator said that she could take me upstairs to get some of his clothes. I could feel a change. As I walked upstairs, tears started welling up in my eyes. We went into his room and she started pulling clothes out to put in his backpack. Every few seconds she could exhale audibly and I could literally feel her heart breaking. I couldn't help it, tears started flowing. When she was done, she turned to hand me his backpack. I put my arm around her and she put hers around me and sobbed into my shoulder. I truly felt like I was taking her child away. She held on to me for a couple minutes. I told her I was sorry and she said it was ok. (She doesn't speak English, but somehow I think she understood) We went downstairs and I think the officials were concerned, but I couldn't help it.

I don't think Little Man felt anything different although she washed his face one last time and kissed him all over his face. It was truly heartbreaking to see. But now that job is mine....washing faces, kissing boo boos, giving baths and putting to bed. He is with us now in the hotel. It is almost bath time and then we will put to bed.....that will probably be a challenge, but I am up for it. The officials came to the hotel room about 7 tonight after him being with us all day. They both stood by the door with mouths open staring at this happy engaging child. He was trying to speak. He was copying things that Honey drew on the magnadoodle. He was smiling like he was the happiest child on earth. That is what did my heart good! Hopefully they will be able to write the final report tomorrow and it will be forwarded to the ministry. We hope the Ministry Official will be in the office and sign the document quickly....then we will have the adoption ceremony. Once that happens, he is ours! And we will begin the end of the process with embassy stuff and passport and visa and all that stuff. Then we will come home. That is the Readers Digest version of what we have left. :) Ok, off to give the first bath.

I will try to post a couple pics in a little bit.

Happy Birthday Honey

2010-11-18T15:51:00.002-05:00

Today is my Honey's birthday. Last year we were on a cruise on his birthday. I told him he shouldn't get used to being away from every birthday. :) Today was a tiring day. Little Man was very energetic (and overwhelmed again by people) and he wore me out! So instead of a regular post tonight, I am making lists.

Things that I LOVE here:
1. A certain little boy's giggle that seems to come from his toes.
2. Seeing Babas (old women) walking in town with scarves on their heads and they always seem to be carrying a basket.
3. Seeing love in the eyes of Little Man's older foster sister (although it is sad too)
4. Watching Little Man learn new things and explore.
5. How so many people here try to speak a little English
6. Seeing miles and miles of overturned fields. (I know it's weird, but it is beautiful)
7. The way that Little Man raises his eyebrows so his eyes are as big as they can be and then smiles a huge smile....right before he does something he knows he's not supposed to do.
8. Having internet in the hotel room....it's not always great, but I know we are lucky to have it.
9. The fact that Coke Zero tastes the same here...and I can find it almost everywhere
10. The feel of a little hand on my leg while riding in the car. :)

Things that I am TRYING to get used to:
1. Ordering something off the English menu and it not being what I thought I ordered. (examples....ordering sausage at breakfast and being served hot dogs, ordering a cheeseburger and getting a meat loaf with cheese in the middle, ordering a steak and getting a pork loin)
2. Driving here is NUTS!! We are so glad that we decided to hire a driver instead of renting a car.
3. People around us talking in another language and it not being translated. (Even when they are talking about us and our process)
4. My friends not being online when I am because of the time difference.
5. Not being able to have Diet Dr Pepper
6. A shower that is barely big enough to turn around in
7. Cars parked on the sidewalks.
8. Only having a couple outfits to choose from.
9. Washing said outfits in the sink
10. Our hotel having 2 twin beds...even pushed together there is a gap between them. We are used to cuddling when we sleep so one of us is always in the gap and it is not a comfortable place to be. :(

I was going to make a list of things that I hate, but I might get myself in trouble with that. LOL!

No pics today...I didn't get them loaded onto the computer and it is time for bed...sorry!

Amazingly wonderful day!

2010-11-17T14:51:00.006-05:00

Yesterday was a very rough day. I didn't post because to be honest, I was beginning to think that it was possible for this adoption to not work. There are details that I want to remember, but do not feel comfortable sharing.....actually, yesterday probably should just be forgotten.

Today, however, was great! We were able to go to the foster home at 11am (an hour later than the last couple days and the extra sleep did us so much good!) The officials that observe the visits didn't come to the home until about 1 or 1:30. We think that we have discovered that when Little Man is anxious, it comes out as being super hyper! And he gets overstimulated or overwhelmed or both when a lot of people are watching him. So, we were able to cuddle and play with him without the pressure of people watching us and it totally changed how we interacted. Once the officials got there, he was so comfortable with us that he didn't seem to mind them showing up. :)

After they had been there for a little while, they said that we were going to travel to the city Honey and I are staying in and have lunch. Then we were supposed to bring him to our hotel room. He was really good in the restaurant. He waited pretty patiently for the food to come, and once it did, he ate so well! Honey fed him (which he didn't need to do since Little Man can feed himself). But I thought it was a good bonding activity! Anyway, during lunch, Honey asked Little Man if he wanted more juice. Little Man responded with "yes" not "da" like in his language. He is a smart little boy!

Another funny thing that I want to remember...the youngest foster sister speaks German. I noticed on Monday that the cartoons that were on the TV were in German and I found that strange. Then today, I actually listened to the little girl speaking. (Listening to so many people speak another language....you begin to not even hear because you can't understand. Or maybe that's just me) She said something in German. I took German in high school and remember a little. So, I asked her a question in German and she responded! It was very strange that I came here and can communicate with a child in another language(and it's not even the language of this country). WEIRD!! But so very cool at the same time. She got upset when I told her no (in German) today because she knew I could understand. Honey laughed because I told her she was being rough. She said "nein" (no in German) and I said "ja" (yes in German). We went back and forth a couple times before she stopped. LOL! She was so jealous of our time with Little Man today! She wanted the attention we were giving him. :)

This is our first family picture. It's not the greatest because Little Man is trying to get loose so he can go get the camera. He would rather be taking the pictures than be in them. :)

Honey got a pretty good picture of us.

He LOVES his magnadoddle (did I spell that right?) Being in the hotel room alone makes all of us relax. Can't ya tell? :)

p.s. It takes about 10 minutes for each picture to load. That's why I haven't posted very many.

We met our boy!!!

2010-11-15T12:26:00.006-05:00

Now that you have scrolled down to see the pics, you can read my update. :)

We were so terribly nervous about today. When we got here yesterday, we were given a little more medical info about Little Man and it was so scary. I will share some more at some point, probably after he is officially ours.

He is a sweetheart! He was a little standoffish when we first got there. He was curious about all the grownups around. There was me, Honey, our facilitator, 2 social workers and the 2 drivers. He LOVES to be the center of attention, so he was a happy little guy to go around shaking hands. He warmed up to us relatively quickly. The driver for the social workers picked him and put him in Honey's lap. He squirmed at first but then settled down for a few minutes. He got down and went into the next room while the adults talked. A few minutes later, he came back in and raised his arms for Honey to pick him up and kissed Honey on the cheek. :) Don't worry, I got my share of love too! We gave him a stuffed animal that he carried all over. Until, that is, I brought out my camera. I got a few pics of him (they aren't super clear because this child doesn't stay still for long) and then he took the camera. He LOVES pushing buttons and had a blast with my camera for over an hour carrying it all over the house. I got a ton of pictures of his hands, fingers and shoes. One adorable thing he does is back up to my legs and sort of lean into me. He lets me snuggle him although I have tried to not overwhelm him. My thoughts are so muddled right now. Maybe I will post more details later once I can sort our my thoughts. But I wanted to thank everyone who prayed for us! We could feel them and the Lord made the day wonderful!

This is the first picture of me with my Little Man! He was squirming trying to get the camera so it's not great, but I LOVE it!

The foster mom has him sleep in a crib....he is 6. Although he is small, I'm not sure how he is comfortable.

Isn't his smile something?! He just melts my heart. They just buzzed his hair off recently because he has a skin infection on his scalp. I can't wait to get that cleared up so he can have his beautiful hair again. And he is such a cutie in glasses....no, I am not biased. :)

We made it

2010-11-14T10:32:00.003-05:00

Honey and I finally have made it to Little Man's country. We only had one possible crisis...but God. Honey went online Friday night to check on our flights and found out that the first one had been cancelled and we had been rebooked for FRIDAY at 2pm. Thankfully, Honey was able to call the airline and get another flight and we didn't have to change the other flights. The total God part....there were only 2 seats left on that flight. If Honey had waited to check the flights until the morning, those seats probably would have been gone.

None of the airports we were in had internet (free internet) so we weren't able to post before now. The apartment we are in for now is beautiful. Our facilitator took us to an open air market which was overwhelming....seeing the old ladies selling their wares. We have our meeting with the adoption officials tomorrow and then will travel to Little Man's region to meet him. PLEASE pray for us tomorrow (Monday). I can't go into details right now, but we really need your prayers. I will share more when I can. Now, I've gotta get some sleep. I've been awake for about 29 hours and I am exhausted!!

Day before

2010-11-12T12:02:00.003-05:00

Ok, I'm posting now because I have a gazillion things to accomplish today and I'm sure I will be working on those things until the wee hours of the morning. We will be dropping the dog off about 22 hours from now. 24 hours from right now, we will be checking in at the airport. I laid in bed this morning and thought about that...and I wasn't freaked out. I'm not sure how I felt because it wasn't really excitement either. I guess I feel kind of numb....probably due to the gazillion things I have to do. So, if you think about it today, pray that I somehow find a couple extra hours today so that I can do everything I need to do. The next post will probably be from the airport. I'm sure my computer will be in one of our carryons tomorrow morning. We got our Euro last week....I am supposed to be able to pick up our new US money today. We ordered it almost 2 weeks ago, so it BETTER BE THERE!!!

Blessings

2010-11-11T19:36:00.002-05:00

I have so much to be thankful for! Today, I was at the mall and there was an Air Force guy in the food court. (What do you call a person in the Air Force? I mean, you call people in the Marines and Army soldiers and sailors for the Navy. So what about the Air Force?) Anyway, I went up to the guy and thanked him for his service in our military. He responded with, "Thank you for the opportunity to serve." Isn't that the greatest response?!?

We are leaving in about 40 hours to begin the last leg of our adoption journey. We are so happy to bring this little boy into our lives! I hate it when people say that we are saving him. We are the lucky ones! We get to be a Mommy and Daddy to a very special little one.

Our facilitator was able to get us a reservation at a beautiful hotel near where Little Man lives! It is a quaint little place (only 19 rooms) and it had everything we hoped for (internet, tv, breakfast included) She is amazing and I can't wait to meet her in person!

I just can't believe we are at this point. I still have the feeling I am going to wake up and it will have all been a dream. How cool is it when life feels like a good dream! :)

62 hours

2010-11-10T22:07:00.000-05:00

That's all I have to say about that! I don't have brain power to say anymore.

Last document

2010-11-09T22:43:00.003-05:00

For some reason, I waited to get our USCIS approval apostilled until today. It felt really good to get that last piece of paperwork ready for our trip. We leave in about 88 hours (give or take) and I still have quite a few things I need to do. We are taking my car to get my winter tires put on tomorrow and then Thursday I have to work. At least the work is just helping out with an inventory which is zero stress. I just have to verify counts on stuff. I still have to paint Little Man's book shelves. I am horrible at painting, or maybe I just don't like it. But like it or not, I have to do it. I am rambling....I guess I should go. I really can't wait to get over to Little Man's country so my posts can have some excitement. :)

Folding little boy clothes

2010-11-08T21:29:00.002-05:00

Today I finally washed all the clothes I bought for Little Man. Let me tell you, it was so fun for me to fold those little clothes. I can't wait to pack those little clothes in our suitcase along with our clothes. I also went to Walmart today and bought little boy boots. :) They sure would have been needed today. There is an ice storm going on outside. We have at least 1/2 inch of ice on everything. You can hear trees snapping all over. We are hoping to have electricity through the night. It will be shocking if we do.

We leave in 5 days!!

Pity party time

2010-11-07T20:26:00.003-05:00

I do my best to not be a "woe is me" person. People who are like that drive me crazy! But right now, I kind of feel that way. We leave for Little Man's country in 6 days. I want someone to be as excited as I am! But I feel like when I talk...people do one of two things. They mentally roll their eyes (most have enough tact to not actually do the eye roll) or just shut me off. I realize that most people I am around don't have a heart for adoption like I do. But still...people who have known me for 5 minutes realize that I have desired to adopt for as long as I can remember. Do you ever feel like you're talking to yourself? Do you feel like people think, "Oh, here she comes again" whenever you enter a room? Do you ever just want to shut yourself away from people so that they can't hurt you by their lack of caring? Why is it that people who are expecting a baby the old fashioned way are entitled to attention being lavished and adoptive parents aren't? Someone asked me the other day if we were having a shower for Little Man. I realized that I don't have friends here that would do that for me. Throwing my own shower just seems sad. OK, pity party over....I'm meeting my son in a week. (I can say that since it is already Monday in Little Man's country!)

*I do have a praise!! Between the money I made from the craft fair and money I had in a savings account (from recycling bottles and cans - thank you very much!) we were getting close to covering the dog's boarding. Honey came out of his office today carrying an envelope. Inside was $300 in traveler's checks that somehow just got stuffed in his desk after we got back from our cruise last year. God provided...not in the way I thought, but HE DID IT!!

Craft fair

2010-11-06T21:55:00.002-04:00

Today was the real life craft fair I have talked about. I crocheted A LOT yesterday but still didn't feel like I was prepared. (I never tend to feel prepared. I could have thousands of pieces and still feel I need more) Anyway...I ended up not being able to sleep last night. So, I got back up and crocheted some more....and didn't end up going back to bed until about 2am. I needed to be up at 6am. UGH! But I did it...knowing me, that was a miracle. Anyway, when I got to the fair, I was disappointed to realize that my area was in the middle of the middle of the school gym. This particular fair literally jams crafters in. There was maybe 9 inches between booths. I ended up selling $106 worth of crafts. My wine cork train ornaments were the biggest seller. Sadly, I didn't sell a single puppet or afghan (those are normally my biggest sellers). So, since the trains only cost $3 each...it wasn't really lucrative. I had made some scrabble tile pendants and sold a few of those. I am relatively new to that craft, so I was happy with selling what I did. I guess I should be content with not selling my puppets today...it will be less that I have to make for my online fair because they are selling ok there. Ok, I've got to get some sleep! We leave in 6 days and 12 hours.

New info!!

2010-11-05T17:31:00.002-04:00

We got an email from out facilitator today that had updated info on Little Man. Woohoo!! He is 42 inches tall and weighs 38lbs. He wears a size 11 1/2 shoe! I am so excited to have this info. He is measuring small...about the size of a 5 year old, but we expected that. At least I know that the clothes that I bought should be just about right. I can't wait to see him in his outfits. :) We leave in 8 days. The craft fair is tomorrow and I REALLY need to get off here and crochet. I am no where near ready!

You know you're adopting when...

2010-11-04T23:17:00.001-04:00

One of the ladies on Reece's Rainbow's message board posted this the other day. The responses she had were kinda funny....until today. I guess it is just a little thing. A friend of ours had volunteered to take care of our dog while we were gone. Because of unforeseen circumstances, he isn't going to be able to. It wouldn't be a big deal except that we don't have anyone else who can keep her...except the kennel. The kennel we normally take her to is the only decent one around. They have heated floors on the inside part of the kennels and little doors so the dog can go in and out. Being in New England, that is a good thing....some kennels around here leave the dogs outside most of the day and it is COLD! They also walk the dogs at least once a day. The bad thing....it is going to cost around $500 for the three weeks we are gone to keep her at the kennel. That is $500 we weren't planning on. And being 9 days from travel, well let's just say it's gonna be tight. I was going to use all the money from my craft fair this weekend to put in Nellie's fund. Sadly, I might have to use it ourselves to help pay for the dog. That makes me feel so guilty! This would be an amazing time to have our family profile change from $0 to anything else.

My heart

2010-11-03T10:24:00.005-04:00

Adoption has been a part of my thought processes for most of my life. Let me explain...when I was a little girl, my imaginary friend was a little homeless girl named Jessie that I wanted my parents to adopt. (Strange, I know) When I was 8 years old, my best friend's name was Ray and he was a foster child along with his twin brother. We spent hours talking about his "situation" and although adoption was not in his long term plan, he was the first kid that I knew who made me understand how good I had it with the family that I had. He also made me want to care for foster kids when I got older. (I was a foster parent with my ex-husband....would love to do it again!) When I was 10 or 12, a relative became pregnant and did not feel that she could care for the child and asked my parents to adopt the child. I was thrilled!! Sadly, though, there were circumstances that led my parents to refuse to adopt her child. The same thing happened about 3 years later, and again they had to refuse. :( When I married my ex-husband, we tried right away to get pregnant, to no avail. During this time, I found Ukrainian Angels and felt that our child/ren were there. He said he was not interested in international adoption. So, we checked into foster/adopt through the state. About half way through the classes, we were matched with a 14 year old boy. OH BOY! Being a first time parent and having that child be a teenager was an interesting experience. He was a good boy, but he had MANY issues. He had been in dozens of homes since he was removed when he was 6. He had no trust of women and if I happened to touch him, he FREAKED!

When Honey and I first got together (8 years ago) he knew I wanted to adopt. At that time, Ukraine allowed singles to adopt, so I thought that I would be a single mom. I was totally OK with that! But money was an issue. I saved and saved, but it never seemed to be enough...then Ukraine changed its laws and singles were no longer allowed. I wasn't sure that Honey would ever want to get married (long story) so I figured international adoption wasn't in my future. When Honey "popped the question" at the Alamo in 2009, I started thinking that maybe my dreams could come true. And here we are. If you are curious about how we found our Little Man, read this and this.

Guess what!

2010-11-02T12:12:00.003-04:00

Guess what came in the mail today?? It's for a special Little Man when he comes home...to be safe! I am so excited to see stuff that indicates he is on his way! I have never had a booster seat in my car before, so it will be exciting to see it installed in the car just waiting for a little body to occupy it. :)

Adoption Awareness month

2010-11-01T12:25:00.002-04:00

Since we are adopting, you can imagine how strongly I feel about raising awareness about the wonder that is adoption. There are literally millions of children out in the world who have no one. I am not one who says that children in other countries need adoption more than kids here in the US. I was a foster parent at one point. I know that kids in foster care need forever families too. I also know that kids in orphanages in other countries need families. Are you doing something to help a child...an orphan? If you can't adopt, you can give something....money, time, prayer. These children need someone to think they are someone. If not...they lose hope. I can't imagine being a child and having no hope!

Hope is Fading – Orphan Sunday from Allan Rosenow on Vimeo.

I did it!

2010-10-31T22:55:00.002-04:00

I actually made it through the month of October and posted 31 times! :) True, a couple of the posts were done the next day and dated for the day before. (Shhhhh, don't tell!) But I did 31 posts and for me, that's something.

Happy Halloween! I was thinking about it tonight, and I only remember trick or treating once. Our church usually had a harvest party around Oct 31st and we dressed up for that. There was usually a theme. One year we were people from the Bible...I think I was Mary (all the girls looked pretty much the same though) One year the theme was movie characters...I was the Tin Man, with a funnel on my head and everything. LOL!

We only had 3 trick or treaters tonight...and they all came in the same car. We live on a dirt road so the fact that we had any was shocking....although I think it was our neighbors' kids. I bought a bag of single serving oreo minis. I have some left for Little Man when he gets home. :)

One more thing and then I've gotta go to bed. A while ago I had a strange dream (you're shocked by that, right?). I was packing to leave and one of the things that I NEEDED to bring with me was spices. (I remember reading on a blog years ago that if there is a spice you use a lot...bring some with you to make cooking easier on you.) Anyway, instead of just bringing bottles of spices, I was making single servings out of them. I put these single servings (about a tsp of each) in a weekly planner box for medications (see below). I woke up thinking it was a good idea...I can plan to make spaghetti or something like that and have my spices pre-measured. Am I totally nuts?

Telling everyone

2010-10-30T22:34:00.002-04:00

I worked today with Honey. :) That doesn't happen often so I enjoy it when it does. So, it has started. I think I told almost every customer today that was picking up a prescription that Honey and I were leaving in 2 weeks to finish our adoption. So many shocked faces! The few customers that remember me from when I worked this store years ago were excited for us. I was very excited because the daughter of the man who used to deliver for the store came in today. The man who used to deliver LOVED me!! And in turn, his daughter loved me too! Sadly, he passed away a couple years ago, but his daughter still hugs me so tight every time she sees me. She came into the store today and I was able to tell her that we have 2 more weeks. I thought she was going to cry! I know her daddy is looking down on us from Heaven with a smile a mile wide. He knew how much I wanted to be a mommy! Tomorrow marks the wait time being a week and change.....oh my!

Another freak out moment

2010-10-29T22:31:00.000-04:00

Today Honey was talking to me about what I am working (I am only working part-time fill-in work right now and a couple other special projects). I told him that I work next Monday and Tuesday and maybe Saturday. Then he said, "Don't forget, you work the Thursday after that for that inventory." I am doing the inventory help 2 days before we leave. So, in other words, we have this next week and the week after that and then we leave! I almost started hyperventilating!

Love this story

2010-10-28T22:35:00.002-04:00

I read this story a while ago...I'm not exactly sure where I found it. It is about a pastor in Ohio who "loaned" $50 to each of his adult church members and $10 to the children. He had just preached a sermon about the parable of the talents from the book of Matthew. (I always loved that parable when I was a kid!) So many people say that they don't have money to give to orphans (although they seem to have money for Starbucks and McDonalds, but let's not go there!) Read the story and see if it inspires you like it did me. If you started with $50, how much do you think you could end with?

:( bummer

2010-10-27T23:38:00.002-04:00

My new computer doesn't work. Honey is sending it back tomorrow to get a replacement. I was really looking forward to breaking it in before our trip. Guess I'll have to wait for the new one.

On another note, I'm trying to figure out how to finish my train Christmas ornament. It has a letter blog as the area on the back (conductor's room) and an old wine cork as the engine area. The smoke stack is a golf tee with a wooden bead. I can't figure out the wheels....I mean, I know what I'm going to use as wheels. I just can't figure out how to attach them and make it look right. UGH! My brain is fried. I usually have no problem figuring out a craft project. I can't have crafter's block right now though...my real life fair is in 8.5 days.

So cool!!

2010-10-26T23:00:00.000-04:00

Honey got a package in the mail today. When he got home from work, he opened it up! It had my new laptop (actually I guess it's called a netbook) in it!! It's the cutest little 10 inch computer and I love it! It's the perfect size to take with us to Little Man's country. It's getting so close and I guess I am still having problems believing it is real. I really should get over that! :)

Nothing on my mind

2010-10-25T21:23:00.002-04:00

I can't even think of a subject to blog about today. I am so focused on crocheting and getting stuff done that needs to happen before we leave in 19 days. I need to get my car registration redone that expires at the end of this month (actually finished that online a little bit ago). I ordered Little Man's booster seat for my car!! That was exciting! I need to close out my bank account from the Mountains. That money is needed for the adoption or the garage (not sure which). I need to find as many hours as I can right now at the pharmacies (I float so I need to call all "my" stores) The funny thing is that when I am at the stores, all I can think of is that I need to be home to crochet. When I'm home, I think I need to be working since I make more money working than crocheting. The grass is always greener, huh? So, that is about it....back to crocheting...for now anyway. Work in the morning.

The room is almost there

2010-10-24T23:14:00.002-04:00

Honey painted Little Man's room a couple weeks ago. He did touch up work last weekend. We moved his bunk beds to where we wanted them today. (When we first had them delivered, I asked the guys to put them to the side of the room. The guys told me that wouldn't work and put them where they wanted them. GRRR!) But we put them where we wanted them today....and, shocker, it looked fine! We have a tractor puzzle to put up on one wall, and Honey ordered a laminated map of Little Man's country to go on another wall. (My mom works at a nursing home and there is a younger man there who puts puzzles together all the time. When Mama saw him putting a tractor one together, she asked him if she could buy it. :) I also put the tractor fleece blanket Mama bought on his bed today. The only thing left really is to get my craft stuff out of his closet and paint his bookshelves. And it will be ready to be occupied by Little Man! (Boy, I can't wait to share his name with you guys!)

Less than 500 hours!

2010-10-23T21:30:00.002-04:00

We leave 3 weeks from today....3 weeks is 21 days which is 504 hours. Since it is 9:30, that means that we will leave in less than 500 hours! We got our plane tickets right after we got our date, so that is one thing we don't have to do. We still have to find a place to stay...which you would think would be easy. Well, we're not exactly sure which city to stay in, so it's not easy. We are still waiting to hear from our facilitator to know if we should stay in the capital or closer to Little Man's town (an hour from the capital city). We are also trying to figure out exactly how much money to bring with us. We have to get new money from the bank and probably change some money into Euros...at least enough to cover our facilitator's fee. 3 weeks isn't very much time at all, is it? I am not nervous about getting Little Man. That part feels natural...we are just getting our son. The rest of it....well, let's just say I'm not dealing with it nearly as well.

Well

2010-10-22T22:48:00.002-04:00

The decision I had made was about my job. I work as a pharmacy tech. A couple months ago, I accepted a position with the company to be the tech trainer for my district. In this position, I needed to hold classes with the techs to teach them how our company works and prepare them for a certification class. Since I have a degree in education, I figured I was qualified. The problem...the last few months, I have been terribly preoccupied. (Duh, right?) I went back and forth with this...stressing the whole way. I hadn't held any classes yet, since I was trying to figure out a lesson plan of sorts. I told Honey that I wanted to quit the position. I told my mom I wanted to quit the position. Both told me that they thought I should keep with it and hold a few classes to see how I felt about it. I just was too overwhelmed with the adoption, wanting to home school Little Man for a little while, and trying to figure out this job...plus a whole host of other stresses. I met with my district manager today....actually had lunch with her. After making small talk for almost an hour...I dropped the bomb. I told her that I just didn't think I could do the job. She told me that she didn't want me to make this decision right now. She thought that with all the emotions and stresses right now, she just didn't think I was thinking straight. She said that after Little Man comes home and we all get somewhat settled, I can figure it out. If I still don't want to do it, she will find someone else. I am very thankful I have a manager who is so understanding.

Someone not too long ago posed a question (I think it was on Reece's Rainbow's message board). Is there such a thing as adoption brain (like pregnancy brain)? I really think there is. If not, why can I not focus on anything and get overwhelmed at the slightest stress? If not, why do I cry at the drop of a hat and feel nauseous? Why can't I shut my brain off at night so I can just sleep? Please tell me there is adoption brain!!

Decisions

2010-10-21T23:00:00.002-04:00

If you wouldn't mind, please pray for me tomorrow. I have made a very important decision that a few people around me do not agree with. I feel like I am choosing what is best for my family, especially for when Little Man comes home. I know this is cryptic, but I can't share details yet. I do have to say that my stress level has decreased since I made the decision. Once I share the decision with the person I need to tell, I will be more forthcoming. *It has nothing to do with the adoption.

Praise the Lord!!

2010-10-20T21:16:00.002-04:00

Sales are starting to come in at Nellie's craft fair. I have had 2 cows and 8 puppets ordered so far! There is only one problem with this...remember my craft fair on Nov 6th?? The one I'm not ready for yet? Yeah, that one! The puppets that I had done are gone...but I am truly not complaining! They might sell or might not sell at my real life craft fair, but online, they are going! I will continue making puppets and if they sell online, they do. I am trying to make other puppets (mermaids, butterflies, clowns, elves, and someone asked me to try a rabbit...but time is just getting away from me) I will figure out something else that is rather quick to have for my other craft fair. I really want to feature Reece's Rainbow's Angel Tree at my fair. Andrea said they have some fliers and I might make some basic ones to feature Nellie (since she is my angel!) I pray that she finds a family this Christmas! How wonderful would it be if she wasn't on next year's angel tree...because she was home with her family. If she is, she might be able to hang her own ornament from this year on her family tree...how cool would that be???